Saturday, December 31, 2005

Happy 2006 :)

we're actually coming to the end of 2005, and also towards the end of Fareen's birthday / new year's eve celebration barbeque party. it's just a small gathering of friends basically... just me, Fareen [who prepared a WICKED salad], Ikin [who prepared a WICKED chocolate cake; recipe courtesy of Jamie Oliver and Astro's Channel 11], Kusa [who provided the place, grilled the food and is, of course, my baby], his brothers [who are great helpers!], his sister [who is currently in her room], Chik's girlfriend, and Uncle and Auntie, the latter came down occasionally to help out and eat. oh, she was a great help at setting up the grill. and the firestarter and wax that my dad provided proved to be extremely useful.

10 minutes to the countdown. i'd better be going to the living room, and be with them all. :) gonna go watch the fireworks in a while, too. :)

Happy New Year, all. Hope that your celebration is as good and memorable as mine.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

beauty killed the beast?...

... or did Carl Denham? am now at Kusa's place after watching King Kong at GSC, Midvalley.

can't believe i cried watching a movie about a huge ape. it was no normal sobs too... tears were literally streaming down my face... loads of them! haih~

it was a good movie. go watch it la people... seriously worth your money.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

attention seeking bitch at work

it's nice to finally be able to sit down and give my blog a much needed update. though i hope i'm not as tired... haih~

got back from Ciman's and Shanaz's wedding at the former's house about an hour ago. all of Kusa's friends gathered at megat's place before convoy-ing [?] together to Padang Jawa, and there were 7 cars alltogether. the weather was hot and humid, and at one point i actually borrowed the pengantin's fan from Ciman's brother Shahnon, who was also the best man. because the house is literally next to a kebun, which i assumed is theirs, the ground where they placed the tents for the kenduri were muddy as heck, but thank God i had my wedges on instead of high heels like most girls there. but still, my wedges are now pretty dirty, and i hope i can easily remove the stains without ruining one of my fave shoes. but despite all that, Shanaz looked so beautiful, and Ciman, as usual, was sweaty. but in a good way. and i found out when we were still at Megat's that it was a double wedding with Ciman's sister and her husband... so congratulations Ciman and Shanaz! and of course, Ciman's sis and hubby!

Fareen, Ikin and myself have been having loads of girly sessions since the last couple of weeks, and this week for instance, we see each other everyday from monday till thursday. the last one we had on thursday was one of the ultimate type of girly sessions... i mean, 3 girls watching 4 episodes of The L Word back-to-back... the only thing that could beat that is if the 3 girls actually engage in full-blown lesbian acts while watching the show. which we didn't. sorry to disappoint your imagination, Saddique. i have to agree with Fareen, though... Shane is hot. in a manly way. how to explain? go watch it; it'll be a lot easier.

but anyways, the sessions were, and probably will always be great. i don't have many friends, but girls like them last forever. it's the kind of friendship that i won't let anyone or anything come in between. the kind where we support each other... and at the same time, where we be blunt and if necessary, harass and tease each other to death. people see me and describe me in so many different, and sometimes, totally untrue ways... but who cares about what others are thinking when your friends know you better, kan?

i wish i have the energy to make this post longer... for the first time, i actually have a lot of things to say... but i'm so tired, and i really wanna go out with my boo later, so i better get some rest. so later people... ciao~

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

cinema verite

my exam started today, after a weekend of uncertainty of whether i would be able to sit for it. you see, the powers that be at IGS decided, at the last minute, to bar those who did not pay the tuition fees for the semester. actually, it sounds quite fair, if they were to impose it at the beginning of the semester, or at the mid term exam, in fact. but nothing about barring students until early last week, so of course, i was pissed, and worried at the same time.

according to the grapevine, if students couldn't pay RM5,000 by the time exam week commences, they will need to pay it before the 12th, in time to take the make up exam. either way, it's still a major setback to me... i couldn't afford RM5,000 until at least... oh, i don't know... the end of next year? and there's rumor about them reducing the payment to RM1,000... but we still couldn't find that much money under a week. so my dad came to the college today, 30 minutes before my first paper, and told a staff at the bursary department that he could only pay a few hundred by the middle of the month, and he explained that we're under a really tight situation.

so the bursary took our case into consideration, and i get to sit for my exam in time. and my first paper ended just 15 minutes ago.

[the thing is, they can actually take all the cases into consideration, coz really now, 5k within a week? are you fucking nuts!?!]

the verdict? i wish i could've sit for the 12th december make up paper.

haih. ciao people. and remember, when studying for your exam, don't always rely on the simplified notes your lecturer warned you not to rely on. i should know.

Thursday, December 01, 2005


...HAHAHA. i finished all three assignments that i need to submit this week within 18 hours since my sappy post. i didn't even have to cram and completely stress myself to get them done. but then again, i haven't printed them out yet, and the due date for 2 of the assignments are tomorrow... i mean, today... and anything can happen till morning comes. *touch wood*

hopefully i can now concentrate on studying for my exam and doing the movie review.

Alhamdulillah :)

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

speed of life

3 assignments to submit by end of week.
another one by next tuesday.
1 movie review to write.
3 movies to watch for final exam. [excluding 1 for the review]
study for 4 subjects for exam.
exam is next week.

until 5.00 p.m, 9th of December, my life will be hell.

... or so i hope.


Saturday, November 19, 2005

the last love song on this little planet...

i have been delaying my update as nothing worth mentioning here had happened to me since last week. but then there was yesterday, and for a good routine bitching amongst close mates, i was willing to skip my interviewing class just so i could go to coffee bean instead of the usual starbucks, and just hang.

Fareen had her off day yesterday, and Ikin's here till later today. we had only planned to meet the night before, so it was kind of impromptu. it was, as always, nice to be with two of the girls i most care about in the whole entire universe, just drinking coffee [or in my case, caramel apple ice blended] or plain water and eating a piece of apple crumble and a slice of merry berry cheesecake. i think we stayed at the same spot for almost 3 hours, exclusive of the one hour we stayed at secret recipe earlier on for lunch. even the window shopping we had in between was laced with gossips and news updates... i literally walked till the sole of my feet ached. honestly, i had to tip-toe after taking off the shoes at Kusa's home when we got back.

but i still would do it all over again :)... maybe in a more comfortable pair of shoes, though.

i found out just half an hour ago that something of mine was so significant that some people decided to plagiarize it and feature it on a fake bag! take a look here, and tell me what does the blythe picture on the top left of the bag remind you of? if you say it reminds of you my blythe, kaelika, you're right! it IS my kaeli! it's actually from a picture that Ikin took so we could enter the blythe contest on This is Blythe. i don't really know who decided to create the bag, but Ikin found it from a taiwan online shop, and though i'm a little upset, the dear optimistic Ikin told me to take it as a compliment. so now, instead of bashing this people about how i should be getting royalties out of this, i want to have a free bag! it's the least they could do for me, don't you think? hehe.

today also marks the first time i got bitten by a dog. yes. you read it right. i was bitten by a stupid, fucking, babi betul dog on the way to catch a cab for my ethics class. the damage wasn't physically severe; i managed to pull my leg before it could get through my jeans. which i am glad for. it's not my fave pair of jeans, but it's still a levi's, and there is NO WAY i'm throwing away a levi's unless, of course, it's ruined and waaaaayyy past wearability. but anyways, the psychological effect is worse... though i'm already a lot calmer. Kusa and Chik made a joke about it as a part of their way to get me laughing and cheering me up... that's probably why i'm already starting to put it behind me. but still, it's not yet funny to me, so wait for probably a week before cracking up jokes and make fun of it, okay? [Saddique, Najeeb, and maybe Suffian; Take Note!]

thank god my father has a little garden, so finding clean soil to use as part of the 'samak' process wouldn't be a hassle. but god help me, if i ever see that dog again, i'll kick it's butt so hard that if it could talk, it'll wished it was never born in the first place.

or i'll just ran away as fast as i can. better yet, don't walk around that area EVER AGAIN.

going home to clean my leg now... ciao all~

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

that movie review

Salon was out on the first day of Raya. i read ili's blog and her opinion on the movie, which sorta reminded me that i wanted to post my assignment for the movie review in september. the assignment i submitted was lengthy, so i've decided against it. furthermore, not many people watched it back then... and now that people have started talking about it, i thought, maybe i should too.

Salon was not a bad movie... but it wasn't good either. i wasn't excited about it as i've never heard about it before, and so i honestly didn't know what to expect. was it going to be another sepet? or sembilu? i found out it was neither... too bad, but nasib baik. the movie is sorta like gol & gincu, though gol is better in so many ways. not the best movie to watch, but it has it's winning moments.

the only actors whose acting i think worth being mentioned were pierre andre's and chelsia ng's. and of course, ho yuhang's and khatijah tan's presence lightened up the screen whenever they appear, albeit very briefly. the bad actors were many. especially raja farah. i was confused as what she was supposed to be; a determined, young entrepreneur with a mind of her own, or a girl who didn't even know what she really wanted and so she just follow people around doing what they want to do? this was her first movie, and it showed. ngasrizal ngasri's character was unnecessary, also confusing. the way he dresses and talk contradicted. jojo struys? she tried too hard, and her malay is so stiff, she shouldn't even bother. the scripts and its flow was good... they tried to make it as natural as possible, and it worked. then jojo say her lines, and all hell broke loose. ok so that was an exaggeration. but you get what i mean.

i saw the ending coming from the moment the movie started, but when it came, i went "... what just happened?" the director/writer/whoever responsible should've let the story develop a bit more before jumping in like that. the fact that they shot the movie within 12 days probably contributed to why the movie lacked in depth, but as i was told, shooting under a couple of weeks in normal in malaysia. hmmz.

but i like the music. and the fact they didn't use any dubbing. correct me if i'm wrong, though i don't think i am... but salon is the first movie for alternate studios, and though in my review i gave it a 2.5 out of 5, i think it's better than most malay movies ala yusof haslam out there. and it's a malaysian movie, not a malay movie. so that's good. go watch it at your own risk. and it's better not to have any expectations.

oh well. i'm going home. i came to college this morning to find out that my class has been cancelled. and the only class for the day pulak tu. hish~

looking forward to tonight... meeting Iz again after so many months. dinner with the freaks... the joy!!! :)

disclaimer: remember guys, my opinions are my own. no need to defend the movie or bash it up to me. i'm all about malaysian movies and cinema, more so after i started reading Yasmin Ahmad's and Afdlin Shauki's blogs religiously. if you have time go check out their blogs, and thank you for reading my blog and taking notice of my most humble opinion... yeay~!

Monday, November 07, 2005

raya tales and college blues

How was your raya? mine went well, most of the time. but at one point or another, it did suck. i was reminded by my nosy aunties and bitchy relatives why i hate going back to kampung. imagine being asked about your late mother's possesions by people who shouldn't care coz it's not their business anyways. and because my cousin with whom i share the same birth year got engaged on the 3rd of Syawal, i was constantly bombarded with the same question with each auntie, uncle, and elder cousins: "Mira, engkau bile pulak lagi?" [so when's your turn, Mira?] at first it was fine... i happily answered "tak tau lagi la Mak Long/Acu/Auntie... we'll see". but when you couldn't keep track of the number of people who asked you that, and you start to forget if the same auntie asked you the question the night before, you tend to get irritated, and try as hard as you could not to give out a rude answer.

i wanted to scream "i have every intention to get married, but let me do it in my own time and space! BUZZ OFF, you nosy fucker!!!" but of course, i didn't. otherwise, i wouldn't live to make this entry.

gossips are abundant during raya season. who did what, what was said, who's dating who... this year's raya gossipers seem to be working overtime. although most of the things said are true, but the intention of those relaying the news and the way they say it seemed to suggest malicious intent, and in my family, or any family, that's never good.

but my raya did have its share of good times. i got an RM50 duit raya, the first day of raya with all of us sisters, husbands [if any], our dad and brother went wonderfully, and somehow i managed to keep my eating low, but i did munch on loads of kuih raya.

and i'm definitely looking forward to the raya convoy the freaks always have since we were all in form 4. my god... has it been 8 years already?! anyways, i do hope we get to do it this year too, although the prospect doesn't look too good. but we will all try, kan?

let's stop talking about raya now, shall we?

college started again today, and it's almost as if we didn't have the one week holiday. students are busy with their laptops or inside the computer labs, and i just had 2 group discussions for my final projects and presentation. pretty much the usual stuff. and somehow i got dragged into playing win, lose or draw with a bunch of guys while waiting for jack to come by. i had to draw lesbian gorrilas. LESBIAN GORRILAS? how the hell does one draw lesbian gorrilas, i asked the opposing team after i failed to draw anything comprehensible within the given one minute. "Easy," one of the guys, Prakash said. so he drew 2 boobs facing each other, with nipples, suggesting lesbians, and a potrait of a supposed ape, but it ended up looking like a t-rex. i should have known. just minutes before, one of them had to draw homo sapiens, so for the homo part, he drew 2 dicks facing each other. complete with nuts. haih~

my 5.30 pm class today is cancelled, which is good... it means that my group members and i have time to finish up our project, and submit it next week. and it also means that i have more time to prepare the powerpoint presentation for tomorrow. to be honest... i don't like standing in front of a crowd, and talk while everyone is watching. but being a communications major student, that's something i should be getting used to. sigh~ i really should get started now.

so cheerio people, and thank you for reading my blog! :)

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

the chemical-smelling hair

i permed my hair today... yeay! it's not exactly a farah fawcett hairdo, and it doesn't really look like catherine zeta-jones' hair that i wanted the stylist to emulate... but i think it looks good on me. pictures will be up on friendster soon... if i'm not too lazy. i also got myself a new pair of slip-ons from vincci that i've been eyeing for a week now. i was having second thoughts for a while, but i really hated going through all the shoes again... not with that kind of crowd. what kind of crowd, you ask? the "it's-a-public-holiday-and-there's-a-sale-at-vincci-so-let's-trash-the-place" kind of crowd. not very pleasant. and i collected my baju raya from the tailor yesterday, and after a few alterations, it was ready. so does this mean that i'm all set for raya? must be, kan?

not quite.

puasa has come and gone hurriedly, it seems to me. you know how when you were younger you would actually count the days to raya, and by the 3rd of ramadhan you thought, "man, why can't this month go any faster?", and fasting appeared almost draggy? well okay... maybe just me then. there's none of that this time. there's only one day left in ramadhan, and when it hit me this morning, i thought "WHAT THE HELL?!". literally.

i guess what i'm trying to say is, puasa and raya this time 'round is not what it was to me 10, or even 5 years ago. heck, i think i was excited for last year's. honestly, i don't know why. i do know that without my mother, nothing is ever the same. well, to be honest... there's not that much difference, but at least she was there before. and we always know that we're gonna spend at least a night in Ulu Kinta or Tanjung Rambutan [the pekan, not the hospital!], either at my grandparents' or one of my aunties' place. but this year... i honestly don't know if we're gonna get out of town.

which reminds me... my opah; my mom's mom, passed away during syawal last year. sigh.

but the rest will remain the same, insya Allah. i usually look forward to raya mornings when the five of us sisters will go through my mom's jewelry with her and pick what we would like to wear for the day, with mama's approval, of course. though this time the four younger siblings will do that under the watchful eyes of the eldest. there's also the asking for forgiveness part of the day, and this year, as it was last year, i will get no duit raya. sigh.

i remember when i was smaller, my mom told me, "kecik-kecik tak payah duit raya banyak-banyak, orang besar je boleh dapat", and when i grew up, she said, "dah besar tak payah duit raya banyak-banyak, budak kecik je dapat". haih~ it was a no-win situation. and still is! grr.

here's something new for this aidilfitri: i'll be visiting my mother's grave. and i'll probably shed my first tear of raya ever.

oh well.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri and Maaf Zahir Batin to all Muslims... sorry if i ever did or said anything that hurt you, either intentionally or accidentally. i'm a meanie sometimes, but i'm usually nice :) remember to have a great raya, and be safe in whatever you do... well, at least do enough to survive on the first few days of syawal. huuhaa~

Happy holidays to all!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

yes, at the moment i have nothing better to do

got back from an early sahur with kusa, chik, fen and pian bibir 5 minutes ago. and so i decided to go online as kusa is busy doing his business in the loo. and i read ikin's blog, and hence this post. she took the time to tag me, among other people, into doing this. i could've easily ignore it; but since she'll probably insist on it, i thought "why not? it's not like i have anything better to do." so here goes.

the instructions, as said by saddiq:
So here's whatchoo do: bold the ones you've done and leave the rest to rot. Thats right, rot!

  • smoked a cigarette
  • crashed a friend's car
  • stolen a car
  • been in love
  • been dumped
  • shoplifted *a certain girl talked me into it... :P*
  • been fired
  • been in a fist fight *wasn't really a fight... more of friendly matches*
  • snuck out of your parent's house *countless times, for various reasons*
  • had feelings for someone who didn't have them back *haih~*
  • been arrested
  • gone on a blind date *not really a blind date, but i barely knew him*
  • lied to a friend
  • skipped school
  • seen someone die *my uncle a few years back, then my mom...*
  • had a crush on one of your internet friends *ended up going steady with one of them*
  • been to Canada
  • been to Mexico
  • been on a plane
  • purposely set a part of yourself on fire *WHAT?*
  • eaten sushi *joy!*
  • been jet-skiing *scared kusa out of his pants... but so much fun!*
  • met someone in person from the internet *countless times; some turned out to be great friends, one is my love*
  • been moshing at a concert
  • taken pain killers *what would i do without panadols during my period...*
  • loved and missed someone
  • made a snow angel *naaaakkkk :(*
  • had a tea party
  • flown a kite *was never good at it, though*
  • built a sand castle
  • gone puddle jumping
  • played dress up *i'm a girl. i play dress up ALL the time*
  • jumped in a pile of leaves
  • gone sledding
  • cheated while playing a game *does using cheats while playing sims count?*
  • been lonely
  • fallen asleep at work or school *"sorry cikgu... saya pening kepala"*
  • used a fake id
  • watched a sun set *nak gak...*
  • felt an earthquake
  • touched a snake
  • slept beneath the stars
  • been tickled *kusa's torture method*
  • been robbed *twice*
  • been misunderstood *it's human nature, i guess*
  • petted a reindeer/goat
  • won a contest
  • run a red light/stop sign
  • been suspended from school
  • been in a car accident
  • had braces * i don't need it*
  • eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
  • had deja vu
  • danced in the moonlight
  • liked the way you looked at least at one point in time *almost all the time*
  • witnessed a crime *last week when ikin's phone got stolen*
  • questioned your heart
  • been obsessed with post-it notes *boleh ke?*
  • squished barefoot through the mud
  • been lost *in sg wang, of all places...*
  • been on the opposite side of the country *i'm in selangor, which is like the middle. but i went to johor a few times*
  • swam in the ocean
  • felt like dying
  • cried yourself to sleep
  • played cops and robbers
  • recently colored with crayons
  • sung karaoke
  • paid for a meal with only coins *the good ol' days at school*
  • done something you told yourself you wouldn't *many many times*
  • made prank phone calls
  • laughed until some kinda beverage came out of your nose
  • caught a snow flake on your tongue
  • danced in the rain
  • written a letter to Santa Claus
  • been kissed under the mistletoe by your boy/girlfriend
  • watched the sun rise with someone you care about *naaakkkk :(*
  • blown bubbles *i still do, especially in the shower*
  • made a bonfire on the beach
  • crashed a party *when i was actively clubbing*
  • gone rollerskating
  • had a wish come true
  • worn pearls
  • jumped off a bridge
  • ate dog/cat food
  • told a complete stranger that you loved them *why?*
  • kissed a mirror
  • sang in the shower
  • had a dream you married someone
  • glued your hand to something
  • got your tongue stuck to something
  • kissed a fish or a frog
  • sat on a roof top *at animz's place!*
  • screamed at the top of your lungs
  • did a one handed cartwheel *couldn't even do it with both hands!*
  • talked on the phone for more the 6 hours *twice that i can recall*
  • stayed up all night *clubbing, assignments, couldn't sleep, on the phone...*
  • not taken a shower for a week
  • picked and eaten an apple right off the tree *not apples, but rambutans and durians*
  • climbed a tree
  • had a tree house
  • admitted you are scared to watch scary movies alone *i still wouldn't even if there's anyone with me*
  • believed in ghosts
  • had more than 30 pairs of shoes at the same time *a version of heaven on earth*
  • worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others would say
  • gone streaking
  • gone dingdong ditching *ehh?*
  • pushed into a pool/hottub with all your clothes on
  • been told you're hot by a complete stranger
  • broken a bone
  • been easily amused
  • caught a fish (masa dlm parit)
  • caught a butterfly *it came to me*
  • laughed so hard you cried
  • cried so hard you laughed
  • laughed so hard you pee your pants
  • cheated on a test
  • had or do you currently have a Britney Spears CD *e-yew.*
  • forgotten someone's name
  • french braided someone's hair *i dunno how*
  • been kissed by someone you didn't like *didn't realize i wasn't into him until we kissed. haha*
  • gone skinny dipping in a pool /lake
  • been threatened to be kicked out of your house
  • been kicked out of your house

so that's it. now i can go to sleep in peace.


Wednesday, October 26, 2005

virtue is nice, but vice add spice

midterm was shit.

and my sinus is not making things better. though i hope things will pick up later today. i have a hot date with my boo... along with his sister.

boleh la.

raya is next week... how time flies. suddenly there's hoardes of kuih raya and discussions about where we would be celebrating raya this year. we usually spend the first night of raya at my mom's kampung, but we're not too sure how it'll be since my mom passed away and all... or maybe my dad and sisters have decided. i'll just tag along and go with whatever their decision is.

i hope i'm at home right now... sleeping or watch tv and just completely lepak. sigh.

eh? i can do that. no class for the rest of the day and tomorrow! woohoo!

later all... ciao~

Thursday, October 20, 2005


Datin Seri Endon, the Prime Minister's wife [if you guys didn't know, tatau la nak cakap ape] passed away this morning. my deepest condolences to Pak Lah and family... Al-Fatihah.

i haven't slept since yesterday noon, and i am not sleepy. in fact, i'm all hyper. it's partially due to my lack of sleep, and also, i was worried earlier on about my health as my cough and phlegm hasn't exactly subsided completely, and there's this other medical issue regarding my... uhh... nevermind. so anyways, i found out from my doctor that i could probably be sensitive to cigarette smoke and the likes, and also to cold weather. not an allergy, apparently... just hyper-sensitive. or something. the difference? ntah.

gonna have to do an x-ray tomorrow. the doctor doesn't think that it's necessary, but my dad, being my dad... he insisted on it.

oohh... do check out my photo albums at the links section on the left... sorta updated it this morning before sahur, and it's far from complete, but there's a few photos already in there. and yes people... i am vain. muahahah.

well, that's all. i think i'm getting sleepy after all. good luck to me for my mid term this saturday and next monday... i sure need loads of 'em. ciao~!

the web on my palm

woohoo! currently online using kusa's PSP. needs some getting used to... a bit of a hassle, but fun. maybe not. i still prefer the good ol' keyboard.

this will take a while. will do a proper update later. ciao~

Friday, October 14, 2005

the most energetic birthday cheer...

... can be found at tgi friday's, life center. came back from friday's around 2 hours ago... had a berbuka puasa cum birthday dinner for ikin, courtesy of my boo, kusa. also present was fareen and zaf. i think we had a pretty good night, despite [or is it in spite?] of the fact that ikin had to stand on her chair, holding her free birthday cake, while the tgif crew sang to her, very very VERY loudly. she didn't see it coming, so her 'whatthefuck' face was understandable. i think she was almost embarrased, but i bet she enjoyed it. her first time to tgif was also the first time she had the loudest birthday cheer ever. and there's a polaroid picture too... she grinning from ear to ear. i was afraid that she might hate it, but she was all smiles in the picture :)

before that, fareen, ikin and i had a little girly shopping session at sg wang plaza, the IT place when it comes to cheapo clothes and funky shoes. the three of us got a bolero of different colors and designs at the store we dubbed 'kedai mira', simply because i used to buy my cardigans there. i think there's a post about that already. by the way, we found out today that the store's name is actually G2. 'kedai mira' sounds better. haha. so i got myself this dirty pink knitted bolero that will look perfect with my countless pink and purple tops. and it costs me only RM30. gile murah k?

i also made an appointment at the hair salon i mentioned in one of my previous post with the hari raya promotion on the 1st of november. can't wait!

my midterm exam is on saturday, 22nd october and on the 24th, which is a monday. i have 4 papers, 2 on each day. and since it's like a week away, i'm not panicking yet, and when i don't panic, i don't study. that doesn't justify my procrastination, but hell, i'm doing it anyways. sigh. this will probably kill me later, and rightfully so.

so this is it for now. i wanna go find where my sayang is... he still hasn't called me yet. later all!


Friday, October 07, 2005

and again...

as it turned out, my sinus was actually a full-blown flu, which makes it the third time since late june. or early july, i forgot. it starts off innocently enough with a minor sore throat, and by that very same night, my throat was killing me, and my nose was blocked from all the mucus. did a blood test to see if there's more than just a simple influenza coz i don't want this to repeat itself again after a few weeks, but the result will only be out later today.

on the plus side, having a terrible flu means staying at home, and staying at home means not having to go to class.

i'm off to One Utama in a few hours; fareen will be picking me up. we're going to berbuka with the freaksters and our significant others, if any. i'm gonna do a bit of shopping too, so it helps that i still couldn't fast today. and also, i'll be seeing my babe today after 4 days. yes... only 4 days. can't help it if i miss him, can i?

actually i can. but i choose not to. huuhaa~

here's the lyric to a song that i'm currently listening to. this is for you, sayang!

Santana feat. Michelle Branch and The Wreckers
I'm Feeling You
Sometimes, i imagine the world without you
But most times, i’m just so happy that i ever found you
It’s a complicated web, that you weave inside my head
So much pleasure with such pain
How we always, always stay the same

* I’m feelin’ the way you cross my mind
And you save me in the nick of time
I’m ridin’ the highs, i’m diggin’ the lows
Cause at least i feel alive
I’ve never faced so many emotional days
But my life is good
I’m feelin’ you
I’m feelin’ you

You go, and then i can finally breathe in
Cause baby i know, in the end you’re never leavin’
Well we’re rarely ever sane, i drive you crazy and you do the same
But your fire fills my soul
And it wounds me up like no one knows

Repeat *

fits us almost perfectly. :)

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

sinus sucks.

my baby rebonded his hair! now it's silky straight, and can't be washed until the day after tomorrow. it looks kinda limp now, but it'll look better insya Allah. the salon where he did his hair has a mega sale promotion or something, so i'll probably do my farah fawcett curls a week before raya. and no worries sayang, you'll look great! and so goood! yummz~

i read ikin's blog just now, and with the wonders of photoshop, she lomo-ized a few pics of her and bad. which sorta bring out again my secret love for LOMO. well, not really a secret, but i haven't exactly talk wanting it since i know i can't really afford it. it isn't that expensive, true... but when i have to save up for so many other things, luxuries aren't listed as options. *shrugs*

but one day... i shall own you... muahahah.

puasa is starting tomorrow... yeay! to all who celebrates the holy month, especially to my dearest friends, selamat berpuasa! happy Ramadhan to all!

oooh class is starting in a while. and my nose is sooo irritating! so.. later all!


Tuesday, September 27, 2005

kacang eater

i want my bed. i'm so fucking sleepy, that i don't know how i'm supposed to be paying attention in my ethics class later at 5 pm.

what i should be doing is, go home, head straight to my room, and get into a deep slumber on my bed. but damn my conscience... i couldn't!

instead i'm in the computer lab, eating kacang while chatting with azzura and my beloved sayang.

oh, the joy.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

STOMPing madness~

got back from watching STOMP a couple of hours ago; i have to say, it was fucking good. the perfomers themselves were wonderful at making the show interactive, and the beats of the dustbins, the sweeping sound of the brooms, the thumping of the folded metal chairs, even the flicker of their fingertips on the matchboxes kept me enthralled for a good hour and 45 minutes or so. in Kusa's word, it was "intense". and ikin's prediction came true... Kusa and Chik did start knocking and banging stuff the minute we get into the car to get home.

if money grow on trees i'd get tickets to see their last show tonight.

it's my dad's birthday today... me and kusa are off to see my sisters, their significant others and my dad [duh!] later at the mines. we're having a birthday dinner at johnny's, the steamboat restaurant. my dad is 63 today... though he looks his age, he has a lot of energy compared to his peers.

anybody knows the steamboat restaurant in brickfields, opposite the police station? the location is horrible; right next to the main road! - but they have the best steamboat i've tasted so far. and the first steamboat i tasted too. before johnny's, i never went anywhere else for steamboats. restoran bunga raya, i think. the place has a lot of sentimental value to me... though the last time i went there i was still in high school. so i don't know if the food is as good now as it was years ago, but i'm hoping on it... it'll be cool to go there again one of these days. though parking can be murder.

i'm off. gonna play lumines for a while, and grap a lil nap before heading to seri kembangan. to those who didn't have the time/money to catch STOMP, sorry for rubbing it in your face. or maybe NOT.

kidding only... don't la marah. hehe :D

get STOMPed!

15 more hours to STOMP! ^_^ can't wait!

Thursday, September 22, 2005


me and my movies classmates and our lecturer went to the preview screening of a malaysian movie called 'Salon' yesterday at One Utama. it wasn't the worse movie i've seen, but maybe it was me... i failed to see if there was any morale from the story. worse still, i gotta make a review of the movie as my second assignment.

i'll post it up here when i'm done with it, probably in three weeks time. and then you guys will see what i mean.

iwas bummed for a few days until last night as i was sure that i won't be able to watch STOMP which will end it's run this sunday. according to fareen the cheapest tickets for the sunday shows and the saturday night are all sold out, and there were only a couple left for the friday night show, which she will be going to. when my beloved booboo called me up at around 8.30 pm to tell me that his mom got us the tickets for us and his bro for the sunday matinee show, i was ecstatic! i don't know about the seating arrangement, i'm just SOOOO happy to be able to go! yippie yeay-yeay! all thanks to auntie for making this possible, of course.

JD fortune was chosen to be the lead singer for INXS. i'm happy, probably not for the right reason. yes, he'd make a wonderful lead singer, and he's a true rockstar. but as i said in my earlier post, i want Marty to be with his own band, doing his own stuff... I was never a true blue INXS fan, but hell, i'm the epitome of a Marty groupie.

i think.

i'm forgetting something. i'll edit this post later when i do remember it.


Wednesday, September 14, 2005


a wonderful song by Radiohead that gets to me every time i hear it.

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special

*But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

*But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
When I don't belong here

She's running out again
She's running out
She runs, runs, runs, runs...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here

I thought it was fated that on the very morning i hummed to the song, marty casey was singing it on rockstar INXS. haha. maybe not. but what else could be a better start of the day than having your favorite rockstar sing your all-time favorite song?

well, waking up besides mr kusa hafiez with him hugging me real tight is a sure winner, but hey, that's totally out of the topic.

the same song makes me feel real old. i remember being a 14 year old finding myself when i heard the song for the first time on this compilation album 'pop is dead' owned by my sister, azfa. i owe it to her for introducing me to as what they call it 10 years ago, grunge. when kids my age were busy choosing their favorite "take that" members, i would sit at the back of my class, my walkman playing the cassette constantly, rewinding creep so very often i was surprised the cassette did not falter. [i did have my fave "take that" member; i hit myself countless times for not choosing robbie williams. he is sooo much hotter now.] i remember too, the first time i heard 'creep', i was in the UPM school bus wearing my baju kurung sekolah. see what i mean by the song making me feel old?

10 years ago i was stupid, naive, and my friend turned out to be a bitch. 'creep' was one of the very few things i did or chose wisely back then.

now? i've grown up, still looking for what i am exactly all about, no longer stupid or naive, my good friends are wonderful, my boyfriend is the one i want to spend my whole freaking life with, i still make bad choices though i've become wiser about them, and marty sang 'creep' to me this morning, providing me with a great start to an otherwise mediocre day.


Saturday, September 10, 2005

i'm convinced.

it'll be you and me
up in the trees
and the forest will give us the answer
it'll be you and i
up in the sky
it's a combination for disaster

marty casey said that his song "trees" is about a man trying to convince a gurl to stay in a relationship, and all i can say is, if it was me... i'm convinced many times over.

Jordis is out of the game. it's a sad news when i heard it, but the guys of INXS are probably right... she ain't right for the band. i want Marty or MiG to win so very badly, but then again... will i actually enjoy their stuff in INXS as much as i enjoy their performances now? is it possible for them to win without being the new frontman of INXS?

who knows?

i hate being sick. i especially hate the transition of first having a sore throat, then the flu, and finally the agonizing, chesty dry cough. and the cough lasts for a week or two. and yes, very painful. and for the first few days, expect a bit of throwing up. but then again, kusa has been such an angel to me since the day i told him that i was getting sick. it's the only perk of being unwell, but it's a perk i enjoy tremendously.

i've lost my appetite for the past couple of days. it's good news in a way, but i dislike being hungry with a growling tummy, and yet i can't bring myself to finish one hard-boiled egg. i struggled with dinner just now, and i know i'm still hungry... but i couldn't eat anymore. sigh.

sorry fareen, noran, animz, weird for not being able to make it for the reunion. it's been a shitty week and i do not expect tomorrow to be better. have fun k?

oh well. off to dreamland. ciao~

Monday, September 05, 2005

a couple of smokes, a cup of coffee, and a lil bit of conversation

i'm bored. i have another 30 minutes or so till my class starts, but i wish it would start now so we can just get it over with for the day, and yeah, kill my boredom. it's insane to have your first class of the week on monday, at 5.30 pm... i should be at home tickling dina till she shrieks with laughter. or watch tv. or go to the mines and buy a new bag. but then again, my class... and also, i don't have any money for that new bag yet. sigh~

my weekend was good, how was yours? had a bit of a gurly coffee session with ikin and fareen at starbucks midvalley on friday eve. it was nice to sit and gossip and bitch about people that we don't like... haha. spent my saturday evening with ikin the the groper and alia the... uhh, baby sis. we went to sg wang and ikin the molester got this really cute and quite cheap bolero at this store we dubbed 'kedai mira'. coz i used to buy most of my cardis there. there's this one bolero that i really want... prolly have to wait till the end of next month to buy it... i need to get my new bag first.

iklan: just saw joshua and leo, my 2 friends in college did their ritual handshake. it was... cute! haha.

anyways, back to my weekend. i spent most of it with kusa just hanging out and lazying around. i realize that i take a lot of his free time... he got pissed at one point, and i probably deserve it. but then again, i grab chances by the testicles. he's free, so i wanna hang with him. until he's not free. then i don't hang with him. i don't hang at all.

ikin was a nervous wreck in the last few hours before sunday came. and what's up on sunday? she's meeting bad [the name, not the antonym for good] for the the first time since 14 months ago. and me, kusa, fareen and zaf get to see him too on sunday, as zaf took us out for dinner at fatty crab in pj. the food was wonderful! and the company was even better. kinda sorry that i didn't spend much time talking to bad... i was too preoccupied with my food... haha. but next time, maybe :) and by the way, THANK YOU again zaf for last night! maybe we can do it again sometime soon... nyeheheh~

suffian flew off to phuket yesterday doing a review of club med for fhm. have fun, suff, and have a safe return on... uhh... when are you coming back? hmmz. just be well.

ohh... kusa is on the phone. later!


Thursday, September 01, 2005

did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

happy belated birthday, Malaysia! huhu. i am not at all patriotic, but admittedly, i understand better of what it means to be independent after reading NST's special issue of merdeka day yesterday. it was a compilation of news clippings that started with the japanese invasion of Malaya, until the Indonesian's... well, invasion. sorta like reading your history secondary textbook, only in much simpler, more interesting form. hmmz.

marty casey is the most delicious man on rockstar INXS. along with mig ayesa, of course. his rendition of pink floyd's i wish you were here was wonderful... sorta made me wanna cry. sorta. oh well. and that look on his face... gawd. can i just have one opportunity to lick him? not that i actually would... but if i can do that, that means i can see him, and possibly listen to him sing. sigh~

classes have started regularly this week. had my interviewing class just now... i'm off to lunch with jack in a while and then to my chemistry class at 2. talking about classes... i wonder where's ikin now, and what's up with her lim kok wing application. hope everything goes well for her.

lapar sangat dah ni. and because of a certain person's relentless teasing about a particular akademi fantasia winner and the ending of each of my post, i will cease my usage of the word 'world', and just say whatever comes to mind. if this still doesn't stop the teases, then maybe a few hardcore pinches will.


Saturday, August 27, 2005

me? mushy?

a song by jodeci titled good luv that i love ever since i first heard it in year 1998. enjoy!

In the morning when i open up my eyes
I still be feelin' high from the love you gave last night, girl
But i still try to get up with my friends
But they just think i'm crazy and no more do i fit in, girl
But they always been around, smokin' all day
But i just get a hit or two but i just don't feel the same, girl
I know that i'll be needing you anyday
There's only one thing i have to say

*You give good luv
In the morning
Or late at night
Every second to minute it gets me high
Good luv
In the morning
Or late at night
It's amazing how our love could feel so right

I guess it's just a habit
I feel i have to have it
Every time i see it, girl, you know i wanna grab it
And yes i do admit it
Nothing can get with it
When it comes to feeling good, your love is so addictive
Yes i do get my drink on, and i do have my fun
When it comes to love, i gotta get some of your good luv
So i turn to you, 'cause no one else can do what you do
Girl, you're so good

repeat *

I need your love, girl
Cause when i'm not with you
I'm just feenin for the things you do
I'm in my own world
'cause, girl, i'm crazy for you
'cause your love is always true
You give good luv
You give good luv
You give good luv
And that's all i do
'cause i'm strung out on you

repeat *

Friday, August 26, 2005

deafening silence

i realized today that i actually miss college. well, not exactly "oh-god-i-miss-you-i-don't-want-to-leave-EVER" kind of miss, but i enjoy talking to friends and laughing out loud till my tummy hurts. the only two people that comes to mind who can actually do that in college are jack and zaher. but zaher had his last semester in summer, so i guess we're all gonna miss him. suffian, whom i met on his last semester during the spring was also a good person to hang around with. he doesn't make me laugh out loud, but damn he's funny. and jamie too... she left 2 semesters ago. i do get to see her sometimes as her insurance agency she works at is only a few minutes walk from here. zara is back from UK, but her best friend darlina is still in alor star doing her internship. an, my little korean friend, is wickedly sensitive and likes to pinch people to her heart's content.

i like hanging out with these people, and a few others, a lot. we're not really the best of friends... except for darlina, jamie, and occasionally jack, i don't call them for chats and stuff. i guess that makes us college-mates, or just acquaintances. but they're hecka good at being my acquaintances. and in a way, these people, although they don't know it, keep me coming back to IGS. i admit to hating this place when i first came here, and in a few ways, i still do. but at least now i have people to bitch about this sucky college to.

they say that college life is the best part of your existence. i don't think i'll ever agree [not in this college, anyways], but 15 years down the road, i'll probably get at least a little sentimental about these folks.

azzura is having a little trouble friendship-wise, and it's written all over her blog although not literally. i've been in a similar, albeit different, situation before... and i wish her all the luck. whatever i said, i hope you take it as an advice, and just do what you think is good for yourself, and not anyone else's, okay?

what a way to start your 24th birthday, huh? :)

i'm going off. later world... ciao~

Tuesday, August 23, 2005


ughh. i've been so lazy lately... i have so many things that i wanted to say here, but i for the last couple of weeks, i just don't feel like constructing any words into comprehensible lines in front of the pc for 30 minutes. why? who knows. it's not like i've been doing anything... and i won't until college starts next week.

my body clock is completely ruined... i couldn't sleep before 4 am, and i only wake up at 11 am, earliest. i do know that i need to set it back to normal by the time college starts, or else i'll be having problems going to the morning classes. sigh. i look forward to the new semester [yeay! no more boredom!]... but i so despise waking up at 7.30 am to get to the 9 am class. but not in time though. i usually be 5 to 15 minutes late.

one of the things i enjoy most about being in a relationship with my boo is the kissing. not necessarily on the lips, but any form of it. i love it equally when he caught me by surprise, by kissing me on my forehead, or on top of my head. somehow makes me feel so... safe. he's such a bengot, and so ntah pape most of the times... but when he kisses me the way he does... it feels like heaven.

though i don't really know how heaven really feels. hmm.

later world... ciao~

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

too much time in my hands, hence this post

here's something to ponder upon: why would a singing/talent reality show has a different award for best vocals? most of us know for a fact that the obvious winner of the main award is not the one with the best singing ability, and i guess the producers know that too, hence the best vocal category, i assume. but damn it, it's supposed to be a singing competition! isn't the main prize given to the one with the best vocals, supposedly? furthermore, his fans voted for him for the main prize, why wouldn't they vote for him for all categories?

Yes people, i am referring to Akademi Fantasia.

thank GOD it's over! i actually don't know why it bugs me so much... it was just another reality show. It's not just mawi that bothered me, it's the whole damn show. and the fans too, I guess. 'students' get eliminated not because they can't sing, but because they don't help out around the house, or they made a bad joke. and so, the good singers [not that there's plenty of them in the show] did not get to the finals. but these 12 people's places in maestro are confirmed, so i guess it doesn't make much different. although i guess winning all that prizes would be an added bonus.

like i said, i don't know why it bugs me so much.

But i am enjoying Rockstar INXS tremendously. I think Jordis or maybe Marty should win. They have such strong vocals, and yeah, they look good. I swoon whenever I see Marty on TV! Comel sangat die tu. Rase cam nak gigit-gigit je. huhu~

i watched Rain Man for the first time last Saturday. it was, i have to admit, one of the best movies i have seen in my entire life. can't say much about the soundtrack, though... but you gotta understand, the movie was made in 1988. kusa argued that if i were to watch it say, 10 year ago, i probably would've been more appreciative. i doubt it, but hey... who knows? but anyhoot, dustin hoffman was magnificent. he made me cry twice! i'll never watch him the same way again. go and watch this movie if you wanna watch something to remind you of the value of family, especially the relationship between siblings.

movies to look forward to this week/weekend: Cinema Paradiso and Amelie. can't wait!

i just found out that Marion Raven was a part of the now-defunct bubblegum, candy coated pop duo, M2M. kinda took me by surprise coz i like her songs [those on MTV and V, anyways], but not really that much of a shock coz she did look familiar. oh well.

time to go home, now. i'm crossing my fingers [not literally] hoping to get to see my boo today. so later world... ciao~


disclaimer: what i said about Akademi Fantasia are only my most humble opinion [meaning i actually have loads more to say about it], and nothing else. if there are people reading this who would want to send me a hate-mail or whatever, save it, coz honestly, i wouldn't care. but thank you for making some time and read my blog! yeay!

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

oh, satria...

Kusa's car was broken into early this morning, probably before dawn. His family are having a string of bad luck with all their cars that are parked outside; the RAV4 was broken into and the thief or thieves took the CD player, then Chik's Kembara got stolen, and now my boo's Satria. They took his CD player too... but Kusa took it out from it's place and hid it beside the driver's seat, so i think they broke into it first before they decide what to take. He was really upset about the whole thing, but he's okay now. His mom, on the other hand, was not surprised when she heard the news. The fact it all happened within one month make me believe that the culprit for all theft are the same people, maybe even a part of a syndicate or something.

Pencuri bodoh. Must be some freaking drug addicts who are too stupid to learn or do anything and ripped people's cars apart for easy money. Bangang betul. Emo la ni.

Later world... ciao~

Friday, July 29, 2005

of bunless benjo and groping boobies

my dad told me today that an Indonesian lecturer at my late mother's faculty died of cancer a week before my mom's demise. it took me by surprise because she seemed healthy to me... but then again, i don't recall seeing her within the last few months before she flew off back to her homeland. i didn't ask my dad what kind of cancer she had... i don't think he would know the answer. but she was a nice lady, and i liked her name. Media Sandra Kasih. well okay... i actually only like the Sandra Kasih part. individually the names would be forgettable... it wouldn't be as nice as it would be together. anyways, she was sweet, and i'm sorry for not knowing about her death earlier. i'm not sure if my mama knew.

anyways, i just finished reading ikin's latest blog entry. ntah pape la minah tu. she's neither a sex-crazed maniac, nor is she a lesbian [so no, saddiq, we haven't gone lesbo]. but she is totally out of her mind. i think all the house-moving and college-deciding stuff are too much for her,who is, as i found out yesterday, smaller that she seems to be. the self-professed sad sap is shrinking! haha. i'm gonna have soooo much fun teasing her when she's all shrunked-out.

Andy is coming again! yeay! more chocolatey goodness from the states! i received the latest issue of BUST from him a few days back... i'm loving the magazine so much! it's not the typical women's magazine with beauty tips and fashion models... it's much more than that. you may be tempted to call it a feminist magazine... but to me it's just very liberating. oh well.

azzura, you owe me an outing. i know i said that in the freaksters' email, but i want to emphasise on it a little. just to let you know that you gotta see me soon. nyeheh.

i'm off to kusa's place in a few hours... his parents are having a dinner party after isya'. gotta go with baju kurung... i don't really know why. but i'll just go je la... i kinda like baju kurungs. they're hassle-free.

gotta go now. told my dad that i would go buy some food for cengko, the stray cat that's sort of ours now. she's going to be a mommy soon. did i tell you guys that she first came on the day mama passed away? hmm. i don't know... maybe it's a sign. i really don't want to spend hours pondering about it.

so later, world... ciao~

Saturday, July 23, 2005


the last time i had a shot was when i had the rubella and bcg thing in high school. i don't remember if it was painful, but i remember crossing my arms across my chest, holding cotton wools with both hands and thinking "it's over". yesterday, dr raha proved me wrong.

i got worried with my chesty coughs... it was becoming unbearable. i can't go to sleep without coughing my heart out first. the clinic i went near my house gave me 2 bottles of cough liquids, one after another, and they didn't do much. the ever-so-caring babe of mine took me to see his doctor for a change, and she gave me an injection to supress my allergies. that's what my cough is, it seems. an allergic reaction. to what? i don't know. haha. and it hurt, although only slightly. but the place where she injected me at is a little sore, i flinch everytime i sleep on my left side. but my coughing did subside, and i feel a lot better.

tomorrow is officially the start of a new semester break. yippie. i'm preparing myself for the ultimate boredom... which is good i guess... i'm thinking of taking 5 subjects next semester. i am also thinking of getting a part time job, but we went through this on my last semester break, so i'm not gonna go there again... :P

oh no... i'm bored. oh well... till later people. ciao, world~

Sunday, July 10, 2005

the final trace of innocence

went to the dentist yesterday. that isn't news, normally... but that was my first visit since... i dunno... my UiTM days? that isn't normal. nothing majorly wrong about my teeth... just needed some serious scaling and polishing. and i mean some really SERIOUS hardcore ones.

it was my baby's birthday and also ili's yesterday. didn't call or sms either of them... kinda made me feel bad. i felt especially lousy after reading ili's latest entry in her blog... i'll make it up to you okie mz ili? sorry ek? and kusa? i was so sad for not wishing him for his birthday, that when he finally called from koba, i was the one in tears and he had to console me.

that's right. kusa was in koba. he's on his way back now, so insya Allah i get to see him later. had a little pre-birthday celebration last thursday night before he flew off to indo... ikin cooked up a mean soto ayam for us. too bad i was sick... i would have eat more than just one lousy bowl.

so broke nowadays. made me realize how financially-dependent i was to my late mother. have to really save up and not use as much money as i did when she was still around. am thinking of getting a part-time job again... but i don't know if i could handle it. but the college break is less than 2 weeks away... so i guess i should start searching...

my yo-yo mood is still very... yo-yo. until when? forever la kot. but i am happy despite everything. i'd like to clarify that i am not putting up any front to seem happy, or that i am over it. i will never be over it. but i am aware that life has to go on. and that i should appreciate the people around me. my life. my future. i will still be thinking about her, and sometimes you can catch me with my mind wondering elsewhere. don't worry. i'm not suicidal, i have accepted fate. i probably won't be over it, that's all.

have a morning class tomorrow. 3 assignments to pass up. finished none of them. ugh.

later world... ciao...

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

the last of illusions...

thank you to everyone for their kind words and wishes. also to those who didn't reply my message because you wanted to give me space. my gratitude to my friends who came to my house. many many thanks to my little support group [my boo kusa, fareen, and especially ikin for being there for me 24/7 till saturday] for watching me cry and lent me their shoulders. and i know you guys will come to me if i were to call and say "i need to cry again". thanks you thank you thank you. i couldn't say enough...

my emotions has resembled a yo-yo since last monday night. many asked me, "how did you manage to pull yourself together?" my answer? i don't know. i guess i'm doing okay, but i don't think i'm all fine and stuff. i guess i just go on as i usually do. i try not to be alone, especially in her room. i try not to pick up her perfume, or smell her clothes.

i wish i was a better daughter. there's so many things that i wish i could have done differently. i wish i was more cheerful on that fateful day. i wish i would frown a lot less when she called upon me to massage her, or to get her bags for her. i wish i knew then that because she was weaker than most people, the viral fever would be a lot worse for her than my sister.

i guess its helping in my mourning not to blame Allah. not to ask the Almighty questions like "why her? why now?", not to think about how her demise took me by so much surprise, that i didn't believe it initially. not to say, "the doctor could have been better at treating her" or things like that. redha would be the malay word for it. my only regret was that i could have been a better daughter for her.

i wish i recorded her voice. i still remember how it sounded like... soft, but firm. a little weak, but you don't quite hear it when she's angry. but will i still in 5 years' time? in a year? i want to remember her face without ever having to look into her pictures. EVER. i pray to God that i could...

my only solace would be that i was there when she passed away. that i dressed her as we were going to the hospital. that when she terduduk, i was there. and when she closed her eyes, though i didn't know that it was then she left us, i was with her.

Allahyarhamah Normah Abdullah... i love you, and i miss you so very much.

i wish i said those words to you more often.


Sunday, June 12, 2005

almost to the end...

you guys have approximately 3 more days to email and vote for my blythe [entry numbers #120, #121 and #122] for the customized girl contest. check out the entries and all other at and go to the gallery section. okay? geddit? if you do, then please PLEASE help me win!

Thank you :)

Friday, June 10, 2005


am supposed to go out later tonight with my sayang, but probably have to ditch the idea since he'll be working late. it's no biggie, but i guess i'm a bit bummed out. dunno why i miss him so much... kusa would say it's because i plan too much into things that probably won't happen, but that's what i do. i plan. sigh.

but other than that, i can always expect a great time whenever i see the freakz. like last night, for instance. we spent the night just talking, and i wish zura and noran and yana didn't have to leave so early. well okay, it was almost 11 pm... but still... :P so thank you animz [who was the reason for the dinner last night :)], fareen, noran, yana and friends, zura, ili and zaf for last night. you guys rock :)

this is all for now. it's getting late and i wanna get home before it gets too dark. later world... ciao~

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

I wish you'd stayed...

if you have ever been hurt by love, or if you are in a relationship where sometimes it hurts to be in love, and you haven't watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, then you should. go watch it anyways if you don't believe in love, or haven't been in love, coz it'll teach you a thing or two. it's one of the most beautiful movie i have ever watched, and i can't believe that jim carrey is capable of such emotions. i won't dwell into the details as yet, as my babe haven't watched it and he hates spoilers. furthermore, i gotta get home.

...How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd...

don't really know what it means, but i'm gonna find out :)

later world... ciao~

Saturday, June 04, 2005

a new month, a new bag, a new year...

... and this time it's a nine west tote bag, light pink with hot pink leather flowers all over, with cute accessories to complement it that includes a key ring, a leather tag and a little make up bag. all pink, of course. not from kusa, but from his mommy dearest. thank you so much, auntie! you've made my whole year a lot brighter and pink-er! *much love and kisses!*

kusa and i celebrated our 4th year anniversary last tuesday with little hoopla, but with a lot of love. we had dinner atoutback steakhouse in bangsar village and then off to midvalley to catch madagascar. which was freaking hilarious. i've watched better animated movies, but check out king julien. man... he was tripping! so go check it out if you guys haven't yet, and remember... mort is mine. muahahah. but anyhoot, we didn't have a big celebration... but huge enough. and the creme brulee is the best i've had in malaysia :)

to mr ezham kusa hafiez: i love you i love you i love you. thank you for a wonderful 4 years, and i hope to be able to say "happy 40th anniversary" to you somewhere down the road. we've been through good and bad times, laughter and fights, wangi and busuk smell [wangi: me, busuk: you!], tickles and kisses, etc etc... and all i hope for is many many many more of those. *kisses*

time has its way
to show me the reason for living
the world and all its splendour
gives me a sense of believing

that our love, will shine thru
and will keep us, keep us forever
and our love, will pull us thru
the bad times and keep us together

i don't wanna fight this feeling no more
wanna love you and love you, its you i adore
cause its you that matters
just the sight of you throws my heart ashore
and the joy you bring opens up my door
cause its you that matters

my love, need to bloom
like a flower a process unencumbered
that want, should i feel
when that trail i truly discovered

that our love, will shine thru
and will keep us, keep us forever
and our love, will pull us thru
the bad times and keep us together

okay, so it's reshmonu's, and i totally ignored the rap rasta whatever part coz i hate it. huha.

later people... gotta satisfy my hunger for food. later world... ciao~

Monday, May 23, 2005

vote for my gurl~

i have entered Kaelika in "Show Us Your Customized Girl" at and it would be really great if you guys could vote for her! what you guys need to do is email and say "i wanna vote for #120, #121 and #122" [those are my entry numbers]. ikin and fareen also entered the contest, though fareen's are under kusa's name coz ikin and i decided to surprise her with the entry. wanna check out our entries and all others? go to i probably won't win... look at all the other entries! some are so beautiful! mine, i think, is among the average ones, but your vote can change all that :) ikin did a really good job on my gurl. thank you mz ikin! you rawk!

so go ahead and vote for her... please, please, pretty please?!

later all! ciao~

Friday, May 13, 2005

are you fond of sand dunes and salty air...

i need a holiday. i DESERVE a holiday. ~sigh~ i hope i get rm5 for everytime i say that to myself... in that case, i'd be able to go to my well-deserved holiday, with extras to spend!

i've been so quiet lately... in terms of blogging, i mean. everytime i get online, i'd tell myself "check mail, then off to updating my blog". and then i'd chat with ikin or zura or my booboo or some other friend, or answer emails so emotionally that in the end, i just get SO lazy to blog. does it happen to you to? or is it just me? nyeheh.

i'm in the process of taking my learner's licence... by the end of next week, i think i should start on my Probation/Prohibition/P-sumthin licence. i hope to get everything finished by the 2nd or 3rd week of class [which is starting on the 24th May] so then i can concentrate on my short semester.

kusa and i are celebrating our 4th year at the end of this month! OMG! 4 years?! gile lama! haha! for those who knew, it's not 4 whole years, but in a way it was. we've been through so so SO much together, and to be honest, i think the relationship is getting a whole lot better than it was 2 years ago. there's still a lot of differences, but there's too much love going on to let things get sour again... kisu kisu, beh! *buat emoticon kiss cam kat yahoo messenger* hehe *and the jelir lidah muke masam one also* haha! goodness... this is SUCH a big deal for me! @_@

and oh... he got me the loveliest birthday gift 2 weeks ago... a lolita guess bag! thank you so vewy much sayang... you rule! :)

it was nurul's birthday on the 7th of May, and the freaks were all so busy on saturday, so zura, animz, fareen and i decided to gave her a little surprise on the 5th. the plan was to go to nurul's house and present her with gifts and a cake. little did we know that we ended up being the ones to get a surprise! she wasn't even home! hahahah! but going out with the freaks are always fun, so although nurul wasn't home and we were a bit disappointed, we still very much enjoyed each other's company.

and it was jubo's... oops, sorry!... najeeb's birthday on monday... kusa, ikin and i decided to do a little something for him since we haven't seen him for quite some time. ikin came for a day especially to do this! i took what happened during nurul's 'surprise' as a lesson, and so we decided to take him out for dinner at cozy corner, and only surprise him with a cake! it was one of the nicest cheesecake i've ever tasted... yumz! hope you had fun that day jeeb... it was the least we could do. sorry takde ferrari enzo... lom cukup kaya la. :P

oh well. this is all. for now. if i don't update this weekend [which is VERY likely] have a fun weekend, as i think i'm gonna enjoy mine. ciao~

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

sticky side up!

my cuti officially starts today... yeay! i submitted my assignment, and so now... i am bored. 3 more weeks to go, and i have NO IDEA what to do! forget about getting a part time job... who would want to hire me for 3 weeks only?! working longer than that is, i believe, out of the question. i have yet to test my ability to 'multi-task': work and study at the same time. i know my mom won't let me because she believes that i would eventually fail either at college or at work. well then... i guess it's back to the old way of getting extra money... just plain save it. haiya. so what now? penang for cuti, maybe? hmmz.

i'm at the college by the way... just got back from meeting suffian, and we had a good conversation-smoke(suff)-makan(me!)-minum session at the new syed bistro at south city plaza. the food and drinks were fine... except for my limau ais... it tasted like it was made from cordial, but they placed in a few biji limau for show. gile la. haha.

life... sdn. bhd 3 was superb at the very least. it's been so long since i last watched a play, and my rindu kinda got 'terubat' with the presence of patrick teoh, susan lankaster, ari ratos, samantha schubert, nell ng, gavin yap, etc, etc. on the stage. the stories they tell happens everyday, especially the one by sobri anuar... so typically melayu, and refreshing at the same time. and he was so selamba during the whole time, i felt like giving him a hug! my babe kusa who lost his theatre-virginity on sunday was equally impressed, so i think it wouldn't be so hard to ask him out on a 'play-date' after this... :)

who goes to cozy corner in ampang park, or used to? go now la... they have new menus and stuff... even escargot! which they insist on pronouncing as escargoT... no silent T! kinda annoying, but sedap. talking about food... i'm going to pizza uno later... yeay for yummy bread pudding and caesar salad! and yeay for my sayang who's going to pick me up later! weehuu~

okay lah. wanna go down to the bursary, then head home. relax a while, get ready, and go out. so guys, if you are free, gimme a buzz. especially to the freaks, and mizz ikin. and sesape la. huhaa~ later people... ciao!

Friday, April 22, 2005

waiting for the rain to stop...

i was actually at a different cybercafe and i logged out after 2 hours. only then i realized that it's raining SO heavily, that walking home isn't such a great idea. so now i am at another cc, and i am online again, and since now i don't really have anything to do, i decided to blog.

my final exam for the semester was over on monday, and now i have approximately 5 weeks to bore myself and do nothing. but not exactly yet, as i still have one assignment to pass up. it's good kot in a way... i have something to do until wednesday. the due date for the paper is on friday, but i wanna hand it in earlier. after that? i'm still considering about the part time working thing. if any of you guys know of anyone or any place that could use some help, notify me, eh? the pay doesn't have to be high as long as it's appropirate for the job i'd be doing. nyeh.

i'm off to see life... sdn bhd on sunday [damn... i've been telling EVERYONE about that!] and i hope to have a fruitful and enjoyable weekend. work to be done, theatre to go to... i hope you guys will have the same fun weekend. later all... ciao~!

Thursday, April 14, 2005

i'm too tired to think of a title.

ah. finally... an update. i'll try to make this a long one, to compensate the weeks i have spent in silence to all of you, my poor, waiting readers. or does this entry equals to suffering on your part, because you were actually hoping that you don't have to read my crap anymore? pity you then, coz i ain't stopping! huha.

the cancer fundraising event went on pretty well... not the best event in the world, but i think we did okay. everyone was having fun despite all the stress, and getting to the big day was a hella bumpy ride. for the pre-event a few days before saturday, i had a group of people working with me handling a handprinting project, and we also had henna tattoo drawing, which quite obviously was a big hit. everyone couldn't get enough of my 'artist', and she was really good, actually. thanks to all of you guys who worked so freaking hard to ensure the success of the event. it may not be up to expectations, but it was still awesome.

so what else has been happening? my babe Kusa is still busy with work, as always. I retrieved my tickets for the third installment of life... sdn. bhd. earlier on today with ikin's help. Kusa got 2 passes for "White Noise", and i'm really considering whether to go or not as even the lousiest horror ride at disneyland in paris freaked me out a little. yes, i'm sad. and if there were only one time where i would be jealous of the nature of my sayang's job, it would be yesterday. i do not wish to elaborate. sigh~

my mom's birthday is tomorrow, and i am freaking broke. i wanted to buy my mom a set of crabtree & evelyn's body lotion and shower gel since i have a buy one get one free voucher, but i seriously can't afford anything at the moment. to my mother, Puan Normah Abdullah, Happy Birthday! love you to little tiny bits and pieces! sigh~ i need to get a part time job.

oh, by the way, my final exams start this saturday with 1 paper, and ends on monday with 2 papers. and then i would be on my way to a month of complete boredom, if i do not have anything to do during my holiday. hmmz.

this is all for now. i'm so sleepy... and i have to get up early tomorrow. till later, world... ciao~

Sunday, March 27, 2005

strange to meet you

a few things has happened in the past week... some bad, some good, some i don't give a shit about. not much to be said here, coz i really hate thinking about some of the stuff, but the highlight of my week was of course, dinner with the gurls at naili's on wednesday. the food was great, but the company i was with was, as always, freakin awesome! thank you animz, azzura, dila, fareen, ili, wirda, and also zaf and my baybee kusa. a special thanks to fareen and zaf for picking me up, and an even more speshul one to my sayang for sending me back home. <3 <3 and of course, wirda for that luver-ly bag! made me feel so bad for not giving you a pressie. so takpe... the next time i see you, i'll get you a lil something aight?

i have also been bombarded with one assignments after another, and one more is coming tomorrow. i should be tied up and get really busy until my finals come, but being the procrastinator that i am, busy-ness will only set in a week before the finals. that is, 2 weeks from now. not only busy-ness, but also stress. and pressure. ooh i get the tingles just thinking about it. haha.

Kusa's and my friend is here from the States for his annual visit. Andy's visit is mainly to the dentist [apparently it's cheaper here] and to get his supply of DVDs. and as it has always been for the past few years, he will also be going to bangkok for a few days. i don't think it would be an exaggeration to say that KL is like second home for Andy. i'm still not clear on why, but yeah... :) i can't wait to see him again, maybe in the next 2 days, maybe after he got back from bangkok, but i sure want my choccies! he's like my annual supplier of hershey's and reese's. mmmm reese's... remind me to save some for myself before giving it to the reese's vultures, that is my sisters. haha.

forget what i said about procrastinating. it's scary man. i think i'll start with a couple of easy assignments first. so later world... ciao~

Monday, March 21, 2005

kicking myself silly

my greatest regret this year so far is not going to the forces of nature concert. why? because i don't have any damn cash with me. i was DYING to go! lauryn hill, damn it! wyclef jean! reading ili's blog depresses me. but do go there and read it... i agree with everything she says, even the bsb part. sad, but true. :) i should have worked part time and quit after getting rm82. well okay, more than rm82. blergh. so my gurls who i am meeting this wednesday, especially those who went to the concert, please... no discussion on last friday night k? although ikin did make me feel a little better by that gyuudon experience. it was surprisingly easy to make. i' m gonna make some later this week. kot. nyeh.

i have another hour to spare before my next class. i'll be spending the whole day at college, so hopefully i need not feel the wrath of the supposed hottest day of the year, with the possibility of the temperature reaching 40 degrees celcius. yeay for air-conditioning! i am also very hungry, and very much broke. sigh. i should have worked part time.

ikin-chan... i miss kaelika. can i have her back this week? thank you! :)

later, world... ciao~

Friday, March 11, 2005

all my innocence is wasted on the dead and dreaming...

i'm currently at my mom's office in UPM, and she's holding an oral exam for one of her students. for those who doesn't know, my mother is a malay language lecturer and she teaches basic malay to foreign students studying in UPM as it's a requirement to at least get a pass in bahasa melayu in order to get their degree. so anyways, the atmosphere here right now is very tensed... my mom is, to put it bluntly, very pissed. and disappointed. she has been teaching her students for months, but apparently they haven't been paying attention... i mean, this particular girl argues with my mom about some pronounciation rule. i don't want to dwell on it, but man... i wouldn't have that kind of patience ever. my mom just sits there and you can sense how much she is trying to control her anger.

the student left. uh-oh... another one just walked in!

my babe Kusa is on his way to penang for some work-related thing. i won't be seeing him until sunday night, or monday... so i'm free for the weekend. anyone wanna go for coffee or lepak? gimme a buzz. :) Kusa was sweet enough to come see me at 3:00 this morning, maybe because he doesn't want to miss me too much. but i believe it's because he knows how much i would nag him for not seeing me before he leaves. haha.

there's not much else i want to say, for now. so later world! ciao~

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

are you brave enough to leave with me tonight?

after much discussion with my dear friend Ikin and my dearest man Kusa, i have decided to let go of the Disco Boogie Blythe, and get that birthday present backup, which is a pair of Adidas Mary Jane... i think it's limited edition. i would give up almost anything for DB, but the shipping charges is ridiculous that i believe it's better to ask my friend, Alex to look for it for me. so it's the shoes then... a very pretty pair too.

things are shitty today, so far. my 50 ringgit was stolen, there was a traffic jam on my way to college, and i didn't go to class. it's a stoopid reason for not going to class, especially when i was already at the door, but i was so fucking stressed. i actually don't know why i feel this bad. worse things had happened to me in the past, but i feel like kicking someone's butt right now. maybe it's a collection of things... the bracelet my mom gave to me for my birthday is missing since 2 days ago. i'm crossing my fingers that maybe it actually fell in Kusa's car, but i'm not letting my hopes run up too high. and when it's definite, i'm gonna have to tell my mom, and then it'll be all shitty again. shittier, actually.

i have another class at 4 pm, and another one from 6 till 9. i'm gonna leave early as i have a dinner date with my gurls... but then again, i might just forget about going to class, go home and wallow in self-pity until one of the freakz pick me up at 8. but there's a short presentation i need to do, but i probably can get away with it till next week. but maybe going to my effective listening class would be great. i like my lecturer. he's funny.

this is all, until later. ciao, world~

Saturday, March 05, 2005

nothing happens by coincidence

just got back from a really filling dinner at Pizza Uno. gotta love their home-made ravioli... and don't get me started on the bread pudding! a definite YUM!

still no news on Disco Boogie... but fret not, there's a birthday present backup :) i'm equally excited about that one... will update soonest as i get news.

i'm banned from posting any comments on my own blog. i have no idea why. quite funny la actually... i'm banned from something that is my own. and i'm supposed to call the owner if there's an error. okay. no problem. contact owner. i'll get on it. all i gotta do is... contact myself.

... right.

my philosophy paper was bad. but it was better than i expected. coz i honestly thought it would be extra super duper hard. alas, i was wrong. it was only plain hard. no problem there. :P

if you're thinking of watching a movie this weekend, go for Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. Seriously layan! It might not be your cup of tea [for the fact that it's quite sad and unfair, those who read the books should know!], but it was brilliant. Jim Carrey was superb. and the kids... i adore them all! sunny was just too cute!

sorry for the messy post. i don't quite feel like myself tonight. but it hasn't been a bad day. as a matter of fact, it's quite lovely. hmm :)

later world... ciao~

Monday, February 28, 2005

procrastinator at work.

my mid-term exam started today, and my first paper was Interpersonal Communication which ended 2 1/2 hours ago. it went better than i thought it would, and i wish i could say the same about my Philosophy paper on wednesday. i'm so worried! and yet i'm not doing anything about it! arghkt! haha. no one else to blame but me la kan?

i probably won't be getting my Disco Boogie, after all. i don't feel like explaining now, coz there is still a chance of me getting it... so i'll let you guys know when everything is confirmed. let's just wait and see whether i smile, or cry... okay?

it's getting late... i should head home now. more news later, Insya Allah.


Sunday, February 27, 2005

oh, crab!

here's something for you guys to ponder on...

what makes a person 'mulia'? does praying 5 times a day without fail and read the Quran every night makes a person noble? what if the same person lies, and bitch about other people? is she/he still mulia? in my opinion, that's being religious. but even religions - not just Islam - state that it's sinful to lie and talk behind people's back.

share your thoughts.

on a happier note, kusa and i came back from asia cafe in subang an hour ago. i FINALLY got my crabs! asia cafe is subang's equivalent to hartamas square... but to find a parking spot is like looking for a 5 sen coin in a big bag full of nuts and bolts! murder! but kusa and i both enjoyed our meal, and are planning to go back... but not in the near future. we, especially kusa, need to find our will and patience again. haha.

i need to get some shut-eye... so freaking sleepy! but first i need to wake kusa up... Man U is playing tonight. but he's sleeping like a baby, i hate to interrupt! ~sigh~

later, world~

Friday, February 25, 2005

let's boogie all weekend!

yeay! my babe kusa is getting me a blythe for my birthday present, and ikin has placed the order on the net for me! which blythe, you ask? the Disco Boogie! i'm ecstatic! i'm getting a new girl, and it's a Disco Boogie! i've been wanting it since FOREVER, but the price in KL is murder, mainly because Disco Boogie 1st came out in 2002, so now it's limited in the market! ikin has managed to place the order and all i have to pay is the normal price blythe lovers pay for a normal, least expensive one! i'm so happy! happy happy happy! BLISS!

now... for the question that we always ask when a new girl comes: what should i name her?

hehehe. i wanna go somewhere, and give little jumps of joy for a while. later~

Thursday, February 24, 2005

a cheerios moment

i am typing here with no expectation that my entry today will be published, as there is an ongoing love-hate thing going on with the connection in my college's lab. i will however, type at my heart's content, with a little hope it'll make it, and curse like i've never cursed before if it were to fail to make it into my blog. as i do with most things in life. yeay for mira.

mid term is in 4 days time, and i am especially unprepared for my philosophy paper. i was asked by my sister, what do you study in philosophy? and i said, i don't know... the textbook? plato's cave? the theories of materalist, existantialist, the traditional views, etc? so many things to remember! the thing is, subjects that requires critical thinking scares me because there's a thin line between being on the right track and totally out of topic. ~sigh~ i die.

do check out the adspring05 link if you guys have the time. it's basically a blog of my college's advertising class charity project, so if you have the will and means to donate, please do so. :)

ikin, i read your blog. and i laughed. so bengot of you to not notice your license has been a year overdue! only you can do that! :P

i have a sudden craving for teh ais. hmm.

later, world~

Wednesday, February 23, 2005


yeaaayyyy! i now have a shoutbox! and links too! mucho lurvveee ikin-chan! you r0x0r! haha.

i don't actually have much to say... but since i haven't been updating for quite sometime now, i'll just type as what comes to mind k? bear with me, people :P

kusa came back from bali. yeay! he got me some real nice stuff too. tak sangka die pandai pilih kain. haha. songket some more. haha lagi.

ala sangap plak. i'll post more later. cheerio~

Saturday, February 12, 2005

what the hell?

that was all i had to say when i read a certain someone's post in a certain somewhere. the reason why i'm being secretive about who and where is because i don't want him/her knocking on my door, or my face, to be honest. but the person wrote [or pasted, i'm not sure] an essay on sex education... and i don't understand people who agrees on that view. clearly (s)he was lost on what sex education really is... (s)he thought sex education is teaching people the acts of sex! literally! like, what goes where... that kind of stuff. so (s)he was going on and on about how it's something that people don't need to learn, and that even without sex ed, there's still bohjan and bohsia and prostitution... and if sex ed comes into the picture, the bad western ideas will certainly take over! i wanted to laugh, but i didn't. i'm having this terrible sore throat... the essay just wasn't worth the pain. but the thing that got me the most was the fact that (s)he was using a certain club's name as a handle. but at the same time (s)he was preaching. and (s)he got his facts wrong. sex education is about educating people about sex; it's risks, the steps you should take to prevent any accidents from happening, about reproduction... not literally teach people about the functions of your... uhh... member! aiyoh. heart attack la like this.

just to make things clear, i don't usually do this. when people say something somewhere, i don't go to my own blog or whatever space and diss the other party. i got that once from someone who couldn't understand why i have to write down my favorite books' names on my old blog [yeah i know... silly, ain't it?]... but this. my thoughts probably costs a lot less then 20 cents, but at least they're not misleading.

okay. gonna go get myself some zzz's. valentine's day is in 2 days time, by the way... but my man will be celebrating with his officemates at the beaches in bali. jealousy reigns supreme in mira. until he comes back. on the 20th. ~sigh~ 2 years of long distance mira... and you can't handle 8 days? sheesh. well to be honest, it's not the fact that he'd be away that kills me... it's just that... well, to put it simply... I WANNA GO TOO! :( bali la wei... mesti layan giler.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

i have 10 minutes to kill before my time is up here in the cc. i'm feeling really sick right now... when i'm sick, i'm also low... so i'm not in my best mood. really wanted to go see my bebeh, but then tak larat, what to do?

i have a resolution: to actively start blogging again. miahahaha. i said that many, many times before. this time i might just mean it. we'll see.

i wanna be well!