Saturday, May 08, 2010

I wish.

It really doesn't matter if you celebrate Mother's Day tomorrow, as long as you always appreciate her and have her best interest in your heart.

Furthermore, everyday is mother's day. But just like Valentine's, it is nice to have a specific day to do something special for that special lady in your life. Or, give her a break and send her off to a fully-sponsored spa. And I'm sure most moms would agree; a simple wish and a kiss on the cheek will do as well.

It'll be my first time. And I would love nothing more than to celebrate it with my own Mama. My God how I miss her. Celebrating it with her would be so different this time around. Not just because I will no longer take her and the day for granted. But also because now I KNOW what she went through to have all five of us. What she did for us. I'm sure my sisters felt the same when they had their kids.

What would I do? I would arrange for a sisters-and-Mama outing, have a hearty lunch at a cozy place where we could talk and chat and bitch. I would ask her how did it feel like when she had my eldest sister, how did she feel with five daughters... and with an adopted son. What did she find most challenging as a mother? How was I as a baby? What was my favorite food? When did I first give her a smile? Do all babies' poo smell as bad as Hamzah's?

And then we would all laugh together.

Wishful thinking.

I should stop before my tears starts to flow.

Deep breaths, Mira.

I won't be celebrating tomorrow, because my Boo is down with dengue. Its mild, but mild dengue equates to bad fever, coughing, back pain, joint aches, loss of appetite. Poor Sayang. But Alhamdullilah, his platelet count has increased. Rasa macam nak peluk dia and comfort him all the time, but its kind of impossible with a 3-month old infant.

But its ok. I will still be spending the day with my boys. And like I said, even a little wish and kisses on the cheeks would do. For now. Nyahahah.

So remember kids. Go hug her if you guys are in the same house. If you guys are not, then take a drive to her place, and then hug her. If she stays too far (and by too far, I mean in different states/countries all together; however, you in KL and she in Selangor DOES NOT COUNT) give her a call, and tell her how much you love her.

Coz you'll never know when the ability to do so will be taken away from you. And no amount of tears and wishful thinking can ever bring it back.

Happy Mother's Day.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010


Hey all~

I have to admit, the lack of posts here is not because I do not have the time... but Twitter has proven to be so much easier when I need to vent out ASAP or make a quick statement. But alas, when you have a lot to say, 140 characters is not going to cut it.

So here I am. Blogging away~

I just want to apologize to those who have been victims of my 'kejap ada kejap tak ada' online self. It comes with being a mother of an infant; Hamzah has a pretty predictable schedule, but there are times when he just cries and wants someone to hold him. So to those who feels like I've been abandoning them when they're about to tell me stuff - sometimes very important stuff - I am sorry!

Also, apologies for not being able to commit to outings as often as I used to. I simply don't want to go out too much... Siapa nak jaga chunky boy kan? I will usually go out if my Sayang can take care of him... or Mommy, if she's available. And this is why sometimes I have to plan my outing in advance. I don't like to depend on Mommy's maids too much. I trust them... but only to an extent. They're not very experienced when it comes to caring for a baby, so kalau setakat buat susu and tukar diapers tu boleh la lagi.

Furthermore... I'm quite particular about the way things are done when it comes to Hamzah. Hubby dearest called me a control freak. I call it being a mother.

This is also why I sometimes ignore well-meaning advice by some very good people. Well, some of the advice tu actually memang tak boleh pakai pun, but a rare few do makes sense... but its just that I choose not to go down that road. Like using a buai to lull babies to sleep, for example. I hear that babies sleep better and longer with swings. I'm sure it works for other people, but holding Hamzah to sleep and singing to him works well for us. And the little lion is beginning to sleep longer at night for the past few days... So why change a good thing?

Lain orang, lain la cara dia. Doesn't mean you are wrong... Doesn't mean I am, too.

I'm gonna stop for a while... Hamzah's due for susu anytime soon.

Till later~