Friday, January 30, 2009

woohoo! i'm blogging for the second day in a row!

Two friends of mine and myself had a discussion during lunch about tudung-clad women and smoking.

It was brought up when one of them, Hidayah, saw a girl with tudung or headscarf smoke a cigarette at the mamak where we were having lunch, near the office. She was voicing out her disbelief to us, and said that she couldn't accept it. Juliana, the other girl, agreed.

I did not.

In a nutshell, their point of view was - putting religion and health reasons aside - that its not appropriate for women who are supposed to be the epitome of prim and proper [as most tudung-clad women are] to smoke in public.

While mine - of course, putting religion and health reasons aside - is that it should be okay for them to smoke, just as it is okay for men, or women not wearing tudung. Why should there be a double standard?

This no smoking rule for tudung-wearer, it seems to me, was imposed by society.

I'm not the smartest of person to be giving out expert opinions; my thoughts are mine, from what I observed and from what I have learned. I was not brought-up to believe that those wearing the headscarf should be held in a different pedestal than those who are not (except for the obvious fact that wearing the tudung is a must amongst Muslim women).

To me, I have a bigger problem with tudung-wearer who wears short-sleeved, tight fitting t-shirts. Kinda defeats the whole purpose, don't you think?

Being prim and proper or respectable to me its about how a woman, regardless of whether her hair shows or not, carries herself. The same how you would judge a man. Doesn't help that there already is an existing double standards between man and women, and now there's one between those donning the tudung or not pulak?

And hearing out their opinion, I do understand what they were trying to say. Juliana said that women and sometimes men in Korea smoked discreetly, because they were taught that it is not proper to do it in public.

But again my question: whose fault was that?

Talking to them about it did not change my mind. In the end, we just agreed to disagree.

What do you think?

28 at 4.10pm

And so another 29th January has passed us by.

More significantly to me lah, of course, with my 28th birthday and all that.

Yeah. I'm 28 now. I thought the number would scare me, but its kind of liberating instead. I believe I am wiser now. Still so much to learn, and so many things I have yet to accomplish, but Insya Allah I'll get there.

Random thought: I wonder how true the saying that a true lady doesn't tell her age?

Anyways. I hope I didn't annoy too much with my birthday countdowns and what-not. I love celebrating my birthday, and I'm not ashamed to admit that. I love the fact that its in January, and that I can tell people "My birthday is on the 29th day of the year". So to those who are annoyed, I am sorry. Not like I'm going to stop doing it, but sorry anyways.

I had a pretty decent day. OK that's a lie. I was stressed, especially in the evening. Didn't help that today is a effing Thursday.

I'm actually considering imposing a 'no work on a birthday' policy on myself. and hubby baby. boleh tak?

Thank you everyone for the kind wishes (and the occasional get-baby-soon messages that somehow got tangled up in the birthday messages). I truly, honestly feel very appreciated and loved. :)

And so the birthday weekend begins. I have 4 celebrations roughly planned out, so here's to another busy weekend!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

I owe it to you people

OK lah, since a few people have been telling me that my previous blog title was misleading (not exactly in those words, though), here's a post on the band that I've been head-over-heels about.

Well, to be honest, there's not much to blog about. I didn't know Estrella existed until yesterday, when I was channel-surfing and suddenly decided to stop at What caught me was this cute girl singing the lead (Liyana, I think her name is) and that the beginning of the song, titled 'Stay', sounds so much like 'Dan' by Sheila on 7, my ultimate Indonesian band.

The song is catchy, and fun. So I decided to look them up on YouTube. And I found this.

The title of this song is 'Ternyata'. I fell in love with it almost immediately. I love it so much, I even told Najeeb that he has to have the song during his reception!

So yeah. This is why I was swooning over them.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

swooning over Estrella

Hello everyone. Yes, I am blogging without waiting for someone to tell me to! woohoo!

Met up with Noran and Along this morning for breakfast/wedding briefing session. Didn't get to lepak too long as noran had to rush to Penang at noon. But it was nice, and meeting with Along after so effing long is great.

Remember Long... Ko tu yang kurus sangat, bukan aku yang gemuk, ok? hahaha.

Anyways, talking about weddings and the preparations makes me think about mine six months ago. Noran has hers pretty much covered, and by the looks of it, definitely better prepared that I was. There are some little details here and there that she overlooked, but to me, that happens to the best of us. So no need to worry babe, you'll be fine :)

But it is hard work. And some may even seem tedious and petty to those not directly involved in the wedding, or have never worked on one ever. Some people have it lucky; they can have anything they want however they want it to be without people telling them what to do. Some, like me, fight to have what they want. And sadly there are those whose weddings are controlled by so-called concerned aunties and uncles and grandma and grandpa and grandmom's step sister from her father's third marriage. No offense.

For those who might be interested, there are two things that I consider most important in planning a wedding: communication, and compromise. And these two were essential in making my wedding perfect, for me, my husband and I think for my family as well.

Communication is pretty much self-explanatory; you gotta let your thoughts be known for people to know what you want. And, you gotta listen to other people as well when they are voicing out their opinion. Especially if they have been planning weddings before. Some ideas may be kolot to you, but you gotta hear them out before making judgments.

Compromise is something that my dad and I only came to after months of crying and shouting. Contrary to popular belief, a wedding is not just about you and your husband/wife. That's just bullshit. Okay maybe not completely, but its half bullshit.

Of course, the couple is where the spotlight should be on, but remember that a wedding reception, especially a Malay one, is a family celebration. A father celebrates his happiness that his daughter has found the perfect match, a mother cries as her son is starting a new family. Or a sister rejoicing over the fact that she doesn't have to share the room or fight over the remote anymore. The wedding is not just your day; the wedding is about family.

I think I strayed a little.

Getting back on track. It can't be helped that opinions between the bride/groom and the parents, for instance, may differ about how the wedding should be planned. Arguments can just rise up out of thin air, for no apparent reason. It could be about the dais or pelamin, the goodie bag, the attire, the decorations at the house, some may even fight over something as seemingly trivial as the theme color! So the ability to compromise is gold at times like these. Ideally, both sides should be willing to. Parents have to remember that it is the son or daughter that is getting married, while the other party needs to remember that parents are celebrating a joyous occasion and want things to be perfect.

And if all else fails, follow this rule: whoever pays for it, gets to decide. The other party, deal with it.

Okay so that's not really a good advice. So use it only under EXTREMELY EXTREME situations.

There were hell when I planned for my wedding. There were things that I wasn't too pleased about. But I can say this with conviction: in the end, it does not matter. You may be a little grumpy that you did not get that RM700 three-tier wedding cake that you wanted, but I bet you me that you're not gonna sulk on your wedding day about it. You wouldn't want to.

And no, I didn't want a RM700 three-tier wedding cake.

Compromise is also important with yourself. If you're under a budget, don't fret too much over the fact that you can't afford that celebrity make-up artist, or that divine french lace for your baju nikah. Make the most of what you can have.

On the wedding day, remember not to sweat the little things. Some things may be a little bigger than small, so ask someone to look on it for you. But if they can't, or its not really a big deal, then live with it and enjoy your day.

By the way, please please please bear in mind that weddings last for a mere few days, but marriage is, insya Allah, forever. So whatever it is, keep your priorities straight, yeah?

And that's how I got my perfect wedding.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

the first in '09

It seems like not blogging for long periods of time has become a habit of mine. It's not because that I don't have any time at all to spend in front of the pc, typing away; I just don't have enough of it. I'm not the kind of person who would get online for the sake of blogging, hence I only update the blog only when I am truly free, and I don't have much to do, online or off.

Getting back on the time factor... its just insane. Like I said, not to the point that I don't have time for anything, but it takes a lot of in-advance planning just to have dinner or lunch with my babes, for instant. Its been a long while since my Sayang and I ever went on a proper date, and besides KLCC, I haven't been to malls for the longest time.

This is not acceptable when, Insya Allah, a baby comes our way.

Hopefully, things will improve once we move permanently to Shah Alam [and no, its not our own house but the in-laws']. And come April, once the finance class is over and done with, we'll have two extra evenings during the weekdays to play with. Maybe then I'll have time to do things I want to do, and to do things I know my Babe wants me to do more of...

It'll come through, I hope.

It will be the 18th day of January in a few moments. I've been meaning to do sort of like a lowdown of the significant happenings in 2008 to me and my Sayang. I haven't had the chance, and Ikin kind of did it a lil bit late into the month as well, so why the hell not?

A lot of things happened this year. On the very bright side, I am now a wife. I am surprised at how much being married does not shock me; I was prepared to go through some serious changes. But so far there has not been much difference in how I conduct my daily life. Except for the fact I see a lot more of my Boo. I guess it has a lot to do with how I am not able to do a lot of 'wifely' stuff. Insya Allah, when we get our own place, I will.

I also got a my first stable, real paying job this year. And roughly 9 months later, I got promoted. Its a big deal to me... I wasn't expecting any increament or promotion until at least a full one year. It means more work, of course, but at the same time more trust from my bosses. So yeay! And an achievement of mine that is work-related is.... that I made several reports on Islamic finance without any financial background whatsoever. haha. Not recommended, though.

Other highlights include our Langkawi and Penang trips, as well as the arrival of Fadlan Ilham.

The lows? I left a job in March 2008 which I kind of had high hopes for. On the outside, it sounded like the perfect job for me. I got to write, and I got to learn so much. But I was late to realize that some things did not feel right: there was no confirmation letter after my internship ended, my pay was in cash with no documentation, I had to do a job meant for two people, and the editor of the magazine has no experience in editorial. Publishing is NOT editorial! blergh.

Also, someone close to me was - and still is - suffering some complications due to an ailment the person had two years ago. It does not seem to get better, but am hoping for the best this year.

Can't seem to think of anything else to add to this list. But all-in-all, it has been a wonderful year for me, and was quite stressful for the first half mostly due to work and wedding preparations. The second half fared better, but the stress didn't exactly lessen. Such is life.

As for my resolutions, well, it has never really been my thing. But I tought, what the heck?, so this year, I resolve to:

  • Be fitter, and lose some weight in the process. Yes I know I say this often.
  • Find a sport that I enjoy doing.
  • Do more - bake, cook, write, theatre, movies, etc.
I'd add more to the list, but I'd like to keep this realistic.

So now I am off to bed.

And oh, by the way, its my birthday in roughly 11 days. ;)