Tuesday, January 23, 2007

freaks on the loose

Zura, moi, Noran, Animz

Where else can you find friends like them?

I have a small circle of friends, that is true. But the few friends I have, fortunately for me, are the people I trust my life with, I cherish unconditionally, I will miss most in their absence. These are three of them.

Aaaaaa. Dah start emo. Will do a proper update on Sg. Chongkak when I have more than 15 minutes to kill. For the moment, read up on what these girls mean to me on Zura's blog here.

Laters all. Ciao~

Friday, January 19, 2007

the melancholy of the youngest sister.

I was talking to Ili online, asking her whether she'd be joining our picnic at Sungai Congkak tomorrow, when I suddenly remember that she knows my 2nd sister Hani without knowing that Hani is my sister. And in between our picnic conversation, I asked her:

mira: you know hani azlan? astro nye publicist tu?
ili: uh. kenal gitu je
mira: she's my elder sis

And this is her response, completely unedited:

ili: ha?
ili: HA?
ili: for real?

haha yup. For real. And why did Ili laugh? I don't really know... but I'm positive it's because of the lack of resemblence we share with each other. My sister Hani took after my mom in the sense that they're both fair-skinned and were often mistaken as Chinese or mixed. But then again, my mother's great-grandfather was from China. My 4th sister Diana and I look a lot more like each other, and we took after my dad, with our brown skin. The distant Arab side, I suppose. I in particular, has the same eyes as my dad's father. Big and round. We called him Tok Guli [Guli means marble in Malay. You know, those round 10 sen-sized glass stuff]. My sisters used to call me David Copperfield. haha. My 1st and 3rd sis, Syisya and Azfa are the melting pot... they look both like my dad and my mother.

It actually makes me proud to think that we're all so different, and that people find it so hard to believe that we're actually sisters. Back when I was in primary school, when Hani was in her upper secondary years, her friends would squeal at how much we don't look like each other. My friends would squeal even harder. When I entered lower secondary, Azfa was in her final year of high school. People don't squeal as much when they compare me with her... We kinda look like each other. Except she had to wear braces. She was, as Hani was before her, sort of one of the popular girls in school.

Everybody wants to ber her pet-sister, or adik angkat. When one of my friends actually told me that she was about to ask my sister to ber her pet-sis, I was actually squeamish. 1; coz I hate that girl. 2; AZFA? As a pet-sis? WHY?? [Now, this is a common practice in an all-girls' school, though I'm not sure about co-ed schools. A junior may usually ask a popular/nice/rebellious/whatever they find attractive senior to be her pet-sister, but it's rare to hear about a senior asking a junior. And this process can be as nerve-wrecking as telling a person you like that you want to be his girlfriend, and vice versa. Seriously.]

I was made aware from earlier on that my sisters were far more prettier than I am during high-school. No one had to tell me [although many did countless of times]; I could figure it out myself. I was darker, bigger. But not once did I feel threatened or upset about it. In fact, I believe from the very start that I am as attractive, maybe not in the same way. Imagine... a sixteen year old who didn't have a problem with her body image. RARE! haha. Its confidence, I guess. And no one in my family ever made a big deal out of it. There were a few jokes of course, but I always always laugh with them. The jokes weren't painful; they were actually made out of love... I can't really explain it. From the beginning, I've always felt it. That love. And even if someone did make hurtful remarks towards me, be it relatives or friends, I've always known that their opinion, in the end, wouldn't matter.

I remember wishing for an elder brother when I was younger. Having 4 older sisters can be, to put it nicely, a nightmare. They take your clothes, make-up, jewelry all the time without asking for permission. And the catfights can be nasty.

But then again, I wouldn't want to trade my 4 sisters for the world.

what have you done today to make you proud?

19 days into the new year.

So what's new so far in 2007? Nothing much. Except that Zura and Animz are both leaving for Oz early next month, and my little circle of friends are getting smaller.

Zura... what am I gonna do without you here? Who else would whine to me about boys? Well ok everyone else will, but they don't do it the same as you do... :(

Animz... why do you have to leave? I don't have any more friends with bright, cheery, yellow Satria. :( Less one person to gossip with...

On a happier note, it's 10 days to my birthday! w00t! eh wait, is that a good news? Or is it bad news? Well I guess we'll find out on the 29th.

Class has officially started this week. Haven't been to any... We, the students of IGS, takes about a week to warm up after a month-long holiday. haha. I'm taking 5 subjects this semester; an extra subject than my usual 4 subject per long semester. I'm not sure how I'll cope though... if things doesn't look good by thursday next week, I'll just drop a subject. The prospect of me even getting a third class honours are not looking so good, but we'll see.

Well. Have a fun Friday and a great weekend everyone. As for me, I'll be going on to a picnic with some of my girls this Saturday, so yeay!

Ciao all~

Tuesday, January 02, 2007


The Internet is slow, all thanks to the earthquake that shook Taiwan. Didn't really affect me, although I'm annoyed that I can't check my emails.

So 2007 is here. Wow. Can't believe how time flies. I remember in early January last year I told myself that 2006 hadn't hit me yet. And now it's 2007. I'm not even sure if 2006 had already hit me. Or maybe it'll just come around one day, give me a big slap on the face, and 2007 will hit me. Hmm.

So what happened in the whole of last year? Not much, come to think of it. There are a few things, yeah... but nothing to be blowing the horns about. So many things I could do to improve myself that I didn't do. Don't get me wrong, I'm not being a pessimist. I'm merely realistic.

I had a conversation with my Babe at the start of '07 about improving myself. We were talking about a particular subject that I will not discuss here, but it had me thinking about improvement as a whole. As a person. Physical, emotional, spiritual. 25 years, and I've been slacking off. I haven't done half the things most people my age have done. But I have been fortunate to do things most people doesn't even get the chance to do. I will not question whether it was enough or not. I will not regret. But it makes me think. The term 'everything happens for a reason' does not apply here, because I haven't tried hard enough. So if there's a reason why I have yet to achieve the things others have achieved is purely because I slacked off. Not just last year, mind you... this goes WAY back.

But no, this is not about making new year's resolution. I've never made one in my whole life. I don't need a day to make resolutions... I make resolutions everyday in my life. Mainly about my weight issues, and relationship-wise, and regarding my studies. What I mean is... Why wait till January 1st to make resolutions?

But that's a whole different post altogether.

I'm looking forward to a lot of things this year, I have to admit. Only a year to go before I graduate; an internship programme that I hope will land me straight to a permanent job once I'm done with my studies; another year of being bullied by my Boo; and my TOEFL hopefully in July. haha yeah... I'm excited about doing TOEFL. I've no freaking idea why.

Which reminds me. Last semester's results are out. I did well, I believe... but well enough to get all A's? I really don't know. And it's freaking me out.

Oh well. I need some teh o ais.

Ciao all~