Friday, July 29, 2005

of bunless benjo and groping boobies

my dad told me today that an Indonesian lecturer at my late mother's faculty died of cancer a week before my mom's demise. it took me by surprise because she seemed healthy to me... but then again, i don't recall seeing her within the last few months before she flew off back to her homeland. i didn't ask my dad what kind of cancer she had... i don't think he would know the answer. but she was a nice lady, and i liked her name. Media Sandra Kasih. well okay... i actually only like the Sandra Kasih part. individually the names would be forgettable... it wouldn't be as nice as it would be together. anyways, she was sweet, and i'm sorry for not knowing about her death earlier. i'm not sure if my mama knew.

anyways, i just finished reading ikin's latest blog entry. ntah pape la minah tu. she's neither a sex-crazed maniac, nor is she a lesbian [so no, saddiq, we haven't gone lesbo]. but she is totally out of her mind. i think all the house-moving and college-deciding stuff are too much for her,who is, as i found out yesterday, smaller that she seems to be. the self-professed sad sap is shrinking! haha. i'm gonna have soooo much fun teasing her when she's all shrunked-out.

Andy is coming again! yeay! more chocolatey goodness from the states! i received the latest issue of BUST from him a few days back... i'm loving the magazine so much! it's not the typical women's magazine with beauty tips and fashion models... it's much more than that. you may be tempted to call it a feminist magazine... but to me it's just very liberating. oh well.

azzura, you owe me an outing. i know i said that in the freaksters' email, but i want to emphasise on it a little. just to let you know that you gotta see me soon. nyeheh.

i'm off to kusa's place in a few hours... his parents are having a dinner party after isya'. gotta go with baju kurung... i don't really know why. but i'll just go je la... i kinda like baju kurungs. they're hassle-free.

gotta go now. told my dad that i would go buy some food for cengko, the stray cat that's sort of ours now. she's going to be a mommy soon. did i tell you guys that she first came on the day mama passed away? hmm. i don't know... maybe it's a sign. i really don't want to spend hours pondering about it.

so later, world... ciao~

Saturday, July 23, 2005


the last time i had a shot was when i had the rubella and bcg thing in high school. i don't remember if it was painful, but i remember crossing my arms across my chest, holding cotton wools with both hands and thinking "it's over". yesterday, dr raha proved me wrong.

i got worried with my chesty coughs... it was becoming unbearable. i can't go to sleep without coughing my heart out first. the clinic i went near my house gave me 2 bottles of cough liquids, one after another, and they didn't do much. the ever-so-caring babe of mine took me to see his doctor for a change, and she gave me an injection to supress my allergies. that's what my cough is, it seems. an allergic reaction. to what? i don't know. haha. and it hurt, although only slightly. but the place where she injected me at is a little sore, i flinch everytime i sleep on my left side. but my coughing did subside, and i feel a lot better.

tomorrow is officially the start of a new semester break. yippie. i'm preparing myself for the ultimate boredom... which is good i guess... i'm thinking of taking 5 subjects next semester. i am also thinking of getting a part time job, but we went through this on my last semester break, so i'm not gonna go there again... :P

oh no... i'm bored. oh well... till later people. ciao, world~

Sunday, July 10, 2005

the final trace of innocence

went to the dentist yesterday. that isn't news, normally... but that was my first visit since... i dunno... my UiTM days? that isn't normal. nothing majorly wrong about my teeth... just needed some serious scaling and polishing. and i mean some really SERIOUS hardcore ones.

it was my baby's birthday and also ili's yesterday. didn't call or sms either of them... kinda made me feel bad. i felt especially lousy after reading ili's latest entry in her blog... i'll make it up to you okie mz ili? sorry ek? and kusa? i was so sad for not wishing him for his birthday, that when he finally called from koba, i was the one in tears and he had to console me.

that's right. kusa was in koba. he's on his way back now, so insya Allah i get to see him later. had a little pre-birthday celebration last thursday night before he flew off to indo... ikin cooked up a mean soto ayam for us. too bad i was sick... i would have eat more than just one lousy bowl.

so broke nowadays. made me realize how financially-dependent i was to my late mother. have to really save up and not use as much money as i did when she was still around. am thinking of getting a part-time job again... but i don't know if i could handle it. but the college break is less than 2 weeks away... so i guess i should start searching...

my yo-yo mood is still very... yo-yo. until when? forever la kot. but i am happy despite everything. i'd like to clarify that i am not putting up any front to seem happy, or that i am over it. i will never be over it. but i am aware that life has to go on. and that i should appreciate the people around me. my life. my future. i will still be thinking about her, and sometimes you can catch me with my mind wondering elsewhere. don't worry. i'm not suicidal, i have accepted fate. i probably won't be over it, that's all.

have a morning class tomorrow. 3 assignments to pass up. finished none of them. ugh.

later world... ciao...