Friday, January 30, 2009

woohoo! i'm blogging for the second day in a row!

Two friends of mine and myself had a discussion during lunch about tudung-clad women and smoking.

It was brought up when one of them, Hidayah, saw a girl with tudung or headscarf smoke a cigarette at the mamak where we were having lunch, near the office. She was voicing out her disbelief to us, and said that she couldn't accept it. Juliana, the other girl, agreed.

I did not.

In a nutshell, their point of view was - putting religion and health reasons aside - that its not appropriate for women who are supposed to be the epitome of prim and proper [as most tudung-clad women are] to smoke in public.

While mine - of course, putting religion and health reasons aside - is that it should be okay for them to smoke, just as it is okay for men, or women not wearing tudung. Why should there be a double standard?

This no smoking rule for tudung-wearer, it seems to me, was imposed by society.

I'm not the smartest of person to be giving out expert opinions; my thoughts are mine, from what I observed and from what I have learned. I was not brought-up to believe that those wearing the headscarf should be held in a different pedestal than those who are not (except for the obvious fact that wearing the tudung is a must amongst Muslim women).

To me, I have a bigger problem with tudung-wearer who wears short-sleeved, tight fitting t-shirts. Kinda defeats the whole purpose, don't you think?

Being prim and proper or respectable to me its about how a woman, regardless of whether her hair shows or not, carries herself. The same how you would judge a man. Doesn't help that there already is an existing double standards between man and women, and now there's one between those donning the tudung or not pulak?

And hearing out their opinion, I do understand what they were trying to say. Juliana said that women and sometimes men in Korea smoked discreetly, because they were taught that it is not proper to do it in public.

But again my question: whose fault was that?

Talking to them about it did not change my mind. In the end, we just agreed to disagree.

What do you think?

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ah..this is an issue close to my heart. Because there's a friend of mine too who smokes even though she's clad in tudung, a lot of people called her hantu berasap for it.

Also, a couple of sems ago, I got told off by a few guy friends while lighting up in a baju kurung. "Hilang keayuan" is what they said. Hmph. Yang pakai baju kebaya ketat tak ingat dunia, dedah sini dedah sana dedah dada tak pulak dia kisah tsk

My knowledge when it comes to religion takdelah sebanyak mana, but I do know that smoking is makruh and not haram unlike the other sins which bears more weigh. What I detest more is hypocrites who hide behind headscarfs and baju kurungs. Biarlah I tak bertudung pun, at least when my mum tells me to cover up, I did (unlike masa zaman dia, dia pakai miniskirt nenek I tak kisah pun) for the sake of responsibility and taking care of the family name. Alas, as always, people will often nitpick on what they could see heh ^^;

Milkberry said...

I'm so happy I'm so far away to care. Hahahaha. This I do not miss, the double standardness.

Elmira said...

tunana: well, from what a friend told me, benda yang makruh akan jadi haram if we decide to continuously do it jugak. that's why i refuse to include religion. because from that perspective, my opinion is that smoking should be haram; Allah forbids doing anything that harms your body, kan? but as far as i'm concern, its not, so i don't touch that issue.

but, on a societal level, apsal lak pakai baju kurung and smoke hilang keayuan? so kalau hisap rokok tapi pakai jeans ok ke? haih.

ikin: double standards kat memana pun ada. i'm sure there are issues in japan as well. and, you're still malay/malaysian. so i'm sure at least a part of you still care. if this really does not bother you, well, syabas la kot. haha.

a z z u r a said...

the word verification is : belugg.. when u try to pronounce it mcam ade ikan emas tersekat between anak tekak and the back of ur tounge.

a z z u r a said...

hmm.. If i were there I would be in disbelief as well. "This is one gutsy girl" But I wont condemn nor I would say "go girl".
I still think it is one inappropiate behavior as i detest smoking in public, men or women.
BUt putting this aside, I have no problem about hantu berasap. It's like mira picking her nose in public. not exactly a pretty picture, but I will still be your friend and give you birthday presents. :D

Elmira said...

azzura: apsal ikan emas? sebab dia kecik ekk?

oi i don't pick my nose in public!

but getting back on the subject, yup, i agree with you. it should be the same with everyone. men, women, tudung or not.

Unknown said...

i agree with azura. mira picking her nose in public. gosh !! "what are you thinking, x malu ke??" hahaha....

btw mira this is an interesting subject to discuss via blog.

Elmira said...

ello aniiimmm! i miss youuu!

Winn said...

bravo!!we have the same thought :)

Elmira said...

ezwin: hahaha. eh, have u added me yet?