swooning over Estrella

Hello everyone. Yes, I am blogging without waiting for someone to tell me to! woohoo!

Met up with Noran and Along this morning for breakfast/wedding briefing session. Didn't get to lepak too long as noran had to rush to Penang at noon. But it was nice, and meeting with Along after so effing long is great.

Remember Long... Ko tu yang kurus sangat, bukan aku yang gemuk, ok? hahaha.

Anyways, talking about weddings and the preparations makes me think about mine six months ago. Noran has hers pretty much covered, and by the looks of it, definitely better prepared that I was. There are some little details here and there that she overlooked, but to me, that happens to the best of us. So no need to worry babe, you'll be fine :)

But it is hard work. And some may even seem tedious and petty to those not directly involved in the wedding, or have never worked on one ever. Some people have it lucky; they can have anything they want however they want it to be without people telling them what to do. Some, like me, fight to have what they want. And sadly there are those whose weddings are controlled by so-called concerned aunties and uncles and grandma and grandpa and grandmom's step sister from her father's third marriage. No offense.

For those who might be interested, there are two things that I consider most important in planning a wedding: communication, and compromise. And these two were essential in making my wedding perfect, for me, my husband and I think for my family as well.

Communication is pretty much self-explanatory; you gotta let your thoughts be known for people to know what you want. And, you gotta listen to other people as well when they are voicing out their opinion. Especially if they have been planning weddings before. Some ideas may be kolot to you, but you gotta hear them out before making judgments.

Compromise is something that my dad and I only came to after months of crying and shouting. Contrary to popular belief, a wedding is not just about you and your husband/wife. That's just bullshit. Okay maybe not completely, but its half bullshit.

Of course, the couple is where the spotlight should be on, but remember that a wedding reception, especially a Malay one, is a family celebration. A father celebrates his happiness that his daughter has found the perfect match, a mother cries as her son is starting a new family. Or a sister rejoicing over the fact that she doesn't have to share the room or fight over the remote anymore. The wedding is not just your day; the wedding is about family.

I think I strayed a little.

Getting back on track. It can't be helped that opinions between the bride/groom and the parents, for instance, may differ about how the wedding should be planned. Arguments can just rise up out of thin air, for no apparent reason. It could be about the dais or pelamin, the goodie bag, the attire, the decorations at the house, some may even fight over something as seemingly trivial as the theme color! So the ability to compromise is gold at times like these. Ideally, both sides should be willing to. Parents have to remember that it is the son or daughter that is getting married, while the other party needs to remember that parents are celebrating a joyous occasion and want things to be perfect.

And if all else fails, follow this rule: whoever pays for it, gets to decide. The other party, deal with it.

Okay so that's not really a good advice. So use it only under EXTREMELY EXTREME situations.

There were hell when I planned for my wedding. There were things that I wasn't too pleased about. But I can say this with conviction: in the end, it does not matter. You may be a little grumpy that you did not get that RM700 three-tier wedding cake that you wanted, but I bet you me that you're not gonna sulk on your wedding day about it. You wouldn't want to.

And no, I didn't want a RM700 three-tier wedding cake.

Compromise is also important with yourself. If you're under a budget, don't fret too much over the fact that you can't afford that celebrity make-up artist, or that divine french lace for your baju nikah. Make the most of what you can have.

On the wedding day, remember not to sweat the little things. Some things may be a little bigger than small, so ask someone to look on it for you. But if they can't, or its not really a big deal, then live with it and enjoy your day.

By the way, please please please bear in mind that weddings last for a mere few days, but marriage is, insya Allah, forever. So whatever it is, keep your priorities straight, yeah?

And that's how I got my perfect wedding.