So.

I think its pretty much set (kot?) that I will soon start look for a job, possibly to begin in December or January. Which also means sending Hamzah to a daycare/nursery.

Initially I wanted to start working a few months after giving birth to the little Lion, but hubby wasn't keen on sending him to a nursery, so we waited till mommy finds a permanent nanny/maid to look after Hamzah. But he's already 8 months old, and there is no sign of a new maid, so I guess its time to stop waiting.

Working with hubs is great and all... I am only busy at the beginning of the month! But there has been changes in Subway as whole that made that early month workload easier to handle... It seems silly to continue with the company when I don't really do much.

But truth be told... I don't know how I'm going to deal with the fact that I won't be taking care of my Hammyboy for 8-9 hours each weekday. The thought of it honestly scares me. But then again... not being able to provide the best for him is much scarier. And how can we afford buying our own place by the end of 2011 with the money we make currently?

I don't know lah. In an ideal world, I want to be a stay at home mom and make a substantial amount of money so I don't have to go to work. But the ideal world is not realistic for us at the moment.

I hope I'll be able to find work in an industry that I love. Writing is top of the list, of course. Communications, too. Insya Allah :)

Right now, I'll continue enjoying waking up to Hamzah's smiling face, bathing him with his giggles filling the room, watch him crawl (he's getting so good at it already!), mimic him when he cries for attention (yes I am a bully :P), and sleep by his side.

Hah. Camne nak kerja ni.

Emran Hamzah is love.

So many words to describe how much I love him, that I am speechless. My obsession, my everything, my reason to live.

I'm considering shutting this blog down. I don't mind having just one reader - counting myself - but my posts are lately very few and very far between.

Or maybe I'll keep it for the occasional rantings.

Decisions, decisions.

6 days late, but Selamat Berpuasa everyone.

heylow!

Hey all~

I have to admit, the lack of posts here is not because I do not have the time... but Twitter has proven to be so much easier when I need to vent out ASAP or make a quick statement. But alas, when you have a lot to say, 140 characters is not going to cut it.

So here I am. Blogging away~

I just want to apologize to those who have been victims of my 'kejap ada kejap tak ada' online self. It comes with being a mother of an infant; Hamzah has a pretty predictable schedule, but there are times when he just cries and wants someone to hold him. So to those who feels like I've been abandoning them when they're about to tell me stuff - sometimes very important stuff - I am sorry!

Also, apologies for not being able to commit to outings as often as I used to. I simply don't want to go out too much... Siapa nak jaga chunky boy kan? I will usually go out if my Sayang can take care of him... or Mommy, if she's available. And this is why sometimes I have to plan my outing in advance. I don't like to depend on Mommy's maids too much. I trust them... but only to an extent. They're not very experienced when it comes to caring for a baby, so kalau setakat buat susu and tukar diapers tu boleh la lagi.

Furthermore... I'm quite particular about the way things are done when it comes to Hamzah. Hubby dearest called me a control freak. I call it being a mother.

This is also why I sometimes ignore well-meaning advice by some very good people. Well, some of the advice tu actually memang tak boleh pakai pun, but a rare few do makes sense... but its just that I choose not to go down that road. Like using a buai to lull babies to sleep, for example. I hear that babies sleep better and longer with swings. I'm sure it works for other people, but holding Hamzah to sleep and singing to him works well for us. And the little lion is beginning to sleep longer at night for the past few days... So why change a good thing?

Lain orang, lain la cara dia. Doesn't mean you are wrong... Doesn't mean I am, too.

I'm gonna stop for a while... Hamzah's due for susu anytime soon.

Till later~