I feel lousy. Tired. Pissy.
Its Thursday, so in a way this is not out of the ordinary. But instead of the usual 'I'm-so-effed-off-I-want-to-strangle-someone' kinda pissy, it's more of a 'I-don't-wanna-be-here-I-want-to-just-lie-down-and-not-think' kinda pissy. It's weird. I don't usually have this.
Maybe is the lack of sleep - we came back from Cineleisure at 3am, and went to bed 15 minutes later.
It was a good outing though. Good movie too; I enjoyed it tremendously. But I don't know if I'll enjoy it as much if I was to watch it a second time. I did that for the first movie, and that 'whoa' feeling just wasn't there anymore. But I have a soft spot for Bumblebee and Optimus Prime. That always pull me back in.
Anyways.
You know what I hate? I know Soul covered this in her blog a while back, but its worth to be said again: people asking me if I am pregnant. Well okay, that I can actually handle. But for some messed up reason, when I tell them that I am not (in the calmest voice that my burning-with-hate throat would allow), most would just assume that I don't want to be pregnant. That I am 'planning' as to when I want to have a child.
How FUCKING insensitive is that? What if a woman is having difficulties conceiving because of hormonal or health problems? Don't you think that your sudden need to lecture her about how a child is God's gift would only make her sad?
I hate having to explain to people that I am not pregnant because rezeki belum ada. Every time I do it, it makes me feel like I owe them the explanation. And it adds to the stress. Which is ironic, because I'm supposed to be stress-free in order to have a better chance of getting pregnant, but all this accusations about the reason as to why I am not pregnant is stressing the hell out of me.
Well this is not helping my whole pissy, lousy feeling.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
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9 comments:
haih back to the same issue lagi kan, can't do anything about it, people will keep asking you, non-stop and it annoys the both of us.
how insensitive these ppl can be lah. why are they so curious bout other ppl's fertility?
Just tell them to FUCK OFF!! It isn't their BODY and it isn't going to be their CHILD!! MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS!!! FIGURE OUT YOUR OWN LIFE BEFORE MEDDLING IN MINE!!
I miss you Mira!! Love you babe! <3
owh. jahatnya. siapakah org nya. nanti aku tlg santau kan.
sabar beb xlama ja lg, ko nk tlps seksa ari khamis mlm jumaat. aku akn merindui ko. sob sob
najeeb and soul: tuh la.. i dunno la these people. i mean, yeah bukan semua org macam tu, but come on la... let the couples do what they want!
nana: haha! thanks hun! this is the reason why i love u! and i miss you too!
nik: takpee... aku still ada kat gmail and ym. ko takkan terasa ketiadaan aku :D
kusa: hahahah! well, that is true... ;)
Sweetie.
Pekak kan telinga.
InsyaAllah bila ada rezeki, ada ya.
We doakan.
Have fun trying. :D
If there's one thing I notice about Malays, they always like to ask these three things when the said individual has come to a certain age (say, 23):
1. Dah ada calon ke?
Upon answering yes to this, it will often lead to:
2. Tak nak kahwin ke? Umur dah MAKIN senja tu.
Sure, taking that with a pinch of salt is easy but it does not help when your family tends to side said relatives because 'tidak elok anak dara dah dibawa merata-rata WTF'. Fine, so let's just say that you give in to that, it will the bring the question
3. Dah lama naik pelamin, takkan tak berisi?
Likewise, it's like a gameshow that's trying to set you up from the very beginning till the end.
You have the every right to feel miffed with those people for their lack of empathy and consideration in issues like this. Just that most of the time, Malays are expected to watch their tongue and answer with tact due to the importance of budi bahasa and we are so used to being taught to keep our silence to protect our family's image. Otherwise I could have answered :
"Dah duit mak saya bagi anak korang untuk belajar swasta, beli tanah, bayar sewa, manalah saya ada duit nak kahwin?"
"Takkan nak tunggu mengharap mak bapak hulurkan duit? Tanggungjawab anak ialah untuk menberi nafkah ibubapa sekiranya mampu, bukan untuk mengedik cari duit nak kahwin. Kalau saya ada duit lebih, barulah saya melaksanakan kewajipan itu dengan sempurna."
"Kan Islam kata kalau suami tak mampu nak memberi nafkah kepada isterinya, malah ianya akan memudaratkannya lagi, maka perkahwinan itu adalah haram. Saya tak nak hidup saya disusahkan dan menyusahkan orang tanpa perasaan malu. Biarlah kita kumpul duit, biar kita kahwin pun nanti, takdala ragu-ragu sebab masing-masing ada pendapatan sendiri"
"Kalau dah rasa sarat sangat nak menjaga anak kau yang macam setan tu, bagila sini. Saya tau ko mesti menyesal kan dapat zuriat camtu. Tu yang kau perlu sindir aku takde anak ye"
Nasty comments that I often think in mind, especially when the silence can be a little overbearing ;p
I'm on the other hand annoyed with people who can't seem to accept that the reason I'm not having one coz I don't want one at the moment. Well, not that I'm too sure whether I can have one or not since I’ve been taking precaution / planning from day one but it is like when people start asking me do you have children? I told them not at the moment and they will start to feel sorry for me, or starting to give me that uh...too-bad-for-you kinda look. Is it wrong if I think now is not the best time for me to have kids and that I would want to have some, but it's just not now?
My point is, be it we want one but we can't due to health (trying), or we are not ready due to other commitments but we are fertile (planning), or we are infertile and we don't want to have one anyway, it's suppose to be the couple's matter and other people shouldn’t be asking too much or making their own judgement on why this couple’s not having one yet. In short, they should just mind their own business.
arnie: i don't mind these questions so much, maybe because i expected it and so i just deal with them. i do hate the conclusions they make upon receiving the answers to their queries. it shows lack of respect.
anonymous: yup. my thoughts exactly. it'll be nice, however, if you could leave your name the next time. ;)
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