the melancholy of the youngest sister.

I was talking to Ili online, asking her whether she'd be joining our picnic at Sungai Congkak tomorrow, when I suddenly remember that she knows my 2nd sister Hani without knowing that Hani is my sister. And in between our picnic conversation, I asked her:

mira: you know hani azlan? astro nye publicist tu?
ili: uh. kenal gitu je
mira: she's my elder sis

And this is her response, completely unedited:

ili: ha?
ili: HA?
ili: HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
ili: for real?

haha yup. For real. And why did Ili laugh? I don't really know... but I'm positive it's because of the lack of resemblence we share with each other. My sister Hani took after my mom in the sense that they're both fair-skinned and were often mistaken as Chinese or mixed. But then again, my mother's great-grandfather was from China. My 4th sister Diana and I look a lot more like each other, and we took after my dad, with our brown skin. The distant Arab side, I suppose. I in particular, has the same eyes as my dad's father. Big and round. We called him Tok Guli [Guli means marble in Malay. You know, those round 10 sen-sized glass stuff]. My sisters used to call me David Copperfield. haha. My 1st and 3rd sis, Syisya and Azfa are the melting pot... they look both like my dad and my mother.

It actually makes me proud to think that we're all so different, and that people find it so hard to believe that we're actually sisters. Back when I was in primary school, when Hani was in her upper secondary years, her friends would squeal at how much we don't look like each other. My friends would squeal even harder. When I entered lower secondary, Azfa was in her final year of high school. People don't squeal as much when they compare me with her... We kinda look like each other. Except she had to wear braces. She was, as Hani was before her, sort of one of the popular girls in school.

Everybody wants to ber her pet-sister, or adik angkat. When one of my friends actually told me that she was about to ask my sister to ber her pet-sis, I was actually squeamish. 1; coz I hate that girl. 2; AZFA? As a pet-sis? WHY?? [Now, this is a common practice in an all-girls' school, though I'm not sure about co-ed schools. A junior may usually ask a popular/nice/rebellious/whatever they find attractive senior to be her pet-sister, but it's rare to hear about a senior asking a junior. And this process can be as nerve-wrecking as telling a person you like that you want to be his girlfriend, and vice versa. Seriously.]

I was made aware from earlier on that my sisters were far more prettier than I am during high-school. No one had to tell me [although many did countless of times]; I could figure it out myself. I was darker, bigger. But not once did I feel threatened or upset about it. In fact, I believe from the very start that I am as attractive, maybe not in the same way. Imagine... a sixteen year old who didn't have a problem with her body image. RARE! haha. Its confidence, I guess. And no one in my family ever made a big deal out of it. There were a few jokes of course, but I always always laugh with them. The jokes weren't painful; they were actually made out of love... I can't really explain it. From the beginning, I've always felt it. That love. And even if someone did make hurtful remarks towards me, be it relatives or friends, I've always known that their opinion, in the end, wouldn't matter.

I remember wishing for an elder brother when I was younger. Having 4 older sisters can be, to put it nicely, a nightmare. They take your clothes, make-up, jewelry all the time without asking for permission. And the catfights can be nasty.

But then again, I wouldn't want to trade my 4 sisters for the world.