one obscure blog post, coming up!

This is going to be one of those hazy, ambiguous blog post that I tend to do at times. It is not going to be hard to understand, so do read, ya? You just may not know what I am really writing about.

I have decided to not be bitter anymore. Some things happened in the past that made me question the intention of people close to me, when they decided to make big decisions regarding yours truly without really seeking my opinion.

But I see now that they want to help. I still don't agree with how they chose to do what they did, but I understand that they mean well.

I still worry of the future repercussions - if any - of agreeing to them, but someone dear told me that I shouldn't be too concerned about it. And he's right. I don't know what may happen in the future. Things may work out to be totally opposite of what I've been worrying about.

Furthermore, I don't see how I am going to happy if I keep on worrying like that. This decision they made is to benefit me, and will insya Allah last well into the future. The real problem I have is not the decision itself, but how they came to the decision.

So I've decided to place that part behind me. But admittedly, still keeping it closely behind so I can check on it once in a while. One can never be too safe or too sure.

So... that's it with the bitterness. I can choose to be bitter and spiteful about this whole thing, but no one will benefit from that. I am afraid it will only drive me away from the people I love.

I certainly don't want that.

Bore.

Next time my husband plays paintball out of state, I'm tagging along. Sure I'll be bored coz I can't be at the field for too long with Hamzah around, but at least I won't be missing my Sayang too much.

Plus, its boring to just stay at home too.

But oh well. Lyana may be able to provide me with a little salvation tomorrow, if she recovers from her flu and cough in time. She's going to start work again on Monday, and I'm not sure how her weekend schedule are going to be like at her new workplace, so it might be a while before I get to see her on a Sunday again.

So here's hoping for a healthy Lyana! *crosses fingers*

while waiting for my son to wake up, i ramble.

I need to find a job. Like... yesterday.

I got one interview sometime next week, Alhamdullilah. After sending out about 25 job applications, but still. Persistence is key, Insya Allah.

I was suppose to have another one, but I think the lady who called me up 'merajuk' with me for not being able to talk to her there and then. I was busy, nak buat macam mana kan? And I did call her afterwards and for the next two days after that. But hey, I took the hint. Their loss! Nyahahah~

I'm kinda hoping I'll be able to send out more resumes, get several more interviews (in case the one next week doesn't work out), and get a job within the next 2-3 months. The idea of working and not being with Hamzah during the day gets more and more unappealing with each passing day. But the fact that with more money, we will be a lot nearer to our dream of having our own home - and maybe a sibling for the Lil Lion - pumps me up.

Ada sesape tak nak hire a Communications graduate who hasn't worked for a year and a half? Lemme know okeh? :D