warning: this is a baby-related post.

... Well, most of the content is. :)

My confinement ended almost 2 weeks ago... and I haven't been able to stop eating sweet treats since then haha. Yeah I know I'm suppose to be losing weight and not add on to it, and really, I have no excuse for myself. Shame on you, Mira! I'm just waiting for the phase to go off... Assuming that it'll go away eventually :P

My Sayang and I went out last Monday to satiate my craving for Chili's, and in a way to 'celebrate' my new-found freedom. Wish I didn't binge on those artichoke dip, coz when my ribs arrived I could only eat like 5 small bites before giving up. Haih rugi. Oh well. Will be going out tomorrow to buy Hamzah's stroller (Quinny Buzz yeay!), and then a quick stop to Midvalley. Maybe Japanese for lunch? hmmm.

Hamzah has doubled his birth weight yeay! He was born 1.82kg, and last week he hit the 3.5kg mark. We expect his weight to be about 4kg by now. He's having a bit of a reflux problem, but not too much. One of the cons of formula-feeding I guess.

Oh and he's going to be 2 months' old on Monday whee! As for his milestones... he's begun cooing already, but not to anyone directly. He can hold his gaze on a person/object for longer now, and he tends to reach out to grab stuff sometimes... usually when he's angry haha.

And yes, I realize that at his age he should be able to do a bit more, like giving out a social smile and laughter, but Hamzah's adjusted age is only 2 weeks... so I pretty much treat him like a newborn when it comes to his developments.

Ooooh. He can also fit into some of his day clothes already! yeay! haha.

By right, I should be going back to work on 30th March... but ntah la. It seems that being a stay-at-home-mom is an option as well, if certain things go to plan. hmm.

By the way, expect a lot of baby posts from now on. Hamzah seems to be the only topic I talk about with passion nowadays.

Makan time!

oh baby.

Emran Hamzah is 16 days old today. :)

The day of his arrival was a rollercoaster of emotions for me, and I bet for my Sayang too. He's premature by 6 weeks, and that alone sent me on a low so low it was unbelievable that I got back up. And then there were the other complications: my water leaked about a week before that, which could lead to an infection, the medication (Ventolin, I think that's the name) they put me on to prolong contraction was giving me palpitations and a fever, and to top it all off our baby's heartbeat was fast as well.

This is why the good doctor advised us to go for emergency Cesarean rather than normal delivery.

And the contractions. Oh my the contractions. Yes, I do realize that my threshold of pain is low compared to most people, and to some what I experienced may have been mild, but it was my body, and it was me who was taking all the pain, and those contractions were NASTY. They were only 2 minutes apart, and after about 15 hours dilation was only at 2cm. The epidural was necessary!

I remember thinking as we were driving to the hospital at 2am, "So this is how I'm going to celebrate my birthday, huh?" Lying on the hospital bed, being monitored by nurses with machines and devices to keep a close watch on me and the little one inside me. Somehow it didn't occur to me, while we were driving by Subang Parade, then I would be sharing my birth date with my son. Not only that, I was born 29th January 1981 at 4:10pm; Hamzah arrived at 4:43pm. The time was only apart by 33 minutes. How cool is that?

:)

In a way, I was glad that the doctor opted for emergency C-sec, rather than knocking me out completely. They made sure I couldn't see anything during the op, but from the moment the doctor said "Congratulations, its a boy!" to that time when I heard his cry for the first time, and to when the nurses and paediatrician check on him behind me and finally when he was presented before my eyes... I was fed on a natural high that kept on rising up. I was so happy he's arrived, I forgot that he was still a preemie.

And I thought to myself (or did I say it out loud in the operating theatre? hmm.) that this is the best way to celebrate a birthday ever.

And now at home, 16 days later, and he has been the reason for so many smiles and happy faces around the house. His Nenek and Tok Ayah can't seem to get enough of him, and his Mak Chu happily takes the duty of "Hamzah's Official Photographer" away from us. Even the boys' heart are melting... so does ours. For a premature baby, he is healthy, and Alhamdullilah fully formed physically. Not much else we could ask for, really.

Of course, caring for a child is not without its challenges. And this boy challenges us every night from 10pm to about 6am. I've cried and sighed and dozed off while trying to coax him to sleep, but in the morning I wake up, and I don't need any reminder that this is all worth it.

And my support system has been great. My Babe stays up with me when Hamzah cries and whines, and Mommy is always just a phone call away. I can just call my sisters when something is troubling me (and believe me, there is always something that troubles me everyday), and friends have offered helpful tips and advices.

I doubt myself sometimes, if I am really prepared and capable for this. I admit to wishing that things would be easier, that I can somehow know what would happen next. I fear about his development, about whether he is drinking enough milk, what would happen when I start work in April/May. But then I catch a glimpse of his smile, his frown, his pout, the movement of his chest as he breathe, and all my fears would somehow just disappear, albeit for just a brief moment.

I honestly never knew that love could ever feel like this.

Old is gold.

Watched the animated movie Up with my hubby tonight when we were at my dad's. I've heard that it was sad, but I didn't expect to cry buckets within the first 5 minutes of the movie.

For a few seconds I thought that it was my hormones overreacting, but even my babe said over and over again: 'This movie is sad!'

For the remainder of the movie and afterwards, I keep on thinking about the relationship between Carl and Ellie. Circumstances are different, but I pray and I hope that my Sayang and I will grow old together as loving and caring in our golden years, as we are right now. Even more so, Insya Allah.

Just like Carl and Ellie.

Amin.

hello.

Yeah I know. Its been ages! As to why, well... the same old reason lah. Nothing much to write about, so I didn't.

But today, something popped up. One of my bestie Lyana wrote a letter for my child, and I just have to share it.

Click here, and you'll see.

It made me cry. Not one of those boohoo tears everywhere kinda cry, but one where you were smiling one minute and suddenly OMG there's water in my eyes!

It made me so grateful that our baby - who might be a boy ;) - is so loved even when he is still in my womb by Lyana. And by other friends and family as well, and the realization made me want to cry even more.

I'm feeling like gold at the moment :)

But not so golden is the fact that my hubby's right ankle is hurting pretty bad since Sunday. Totally unrelated, I know... but it worries me. And do you know how frustrating it is to see someone you love moan in pain, and there's nothing you can do to make it better?

And oh, its kinda belated I know, but Syawal is a month-long celebration, so Salam Aidilfitri to all!

haha.

jengjengjeng!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABY! woohoo!

ok tak sempat nak buat post panjang-panjang. bai!

never have a tiny dot-like being made me feel so happy.

Nak blog pasal apa eh?

Well, obviously I should be sharing my good news. That I am pregnant. Kusa and I are, insya Allah if things goes well, having a child. After so much angst on my on my 25th June post, I will be able to say to the naysayers to shut up.

Or maybe I shouldn't say anything to them. It is my pregnancy. I like to share, but I'm afraid it'll lead to more other angst-ridden post because someone said something that angers me.

Needless to say, I am ecstatic. Especially after the first check-up with my gynaecologist earlier today. Its not just a urine test thingy with a little positive sign. This is an actual, little dot that I can see.

I am scared of course; the first trimester is the most trying of the entire 9 months, they say. And the fact that our little dot is so very new... I'm taking extra precautions, even though the doctor said that 'life goes on as usual'.

And through it all, I'm glad I have my Babe with me. Alhamdullilah... for both the little dot and the man Ezham Hafiez ;)

Happy happy happy!

OK lets move on.

I am currently - or should I say hopefully - on my second last week at work. I say 'hopefully', since that the powers that be (my bosses I mean) have yet to find my replacement.

I really really want to leave by the 17th July. Mainly because that was the deadline I gave myself, after one of the bosses' assurance that they are 'looking at mid-July' as my final day. I'm afraid that if I am to stay longer, my already-lacklustre job performance would just go out of the window and commit suicide, rendering the company unhappy in the end that they might just kick me out anyways.

There are other reasons of course, but it wouldn't be nice of me to say anything.

Shower. That's what I'll do now.

mira, the red-nosed kat.

I usually get the sniffles when most people are already recovering from the flu. I guess you can say that I'm a late bloomer during the season. Someone else always get sick first in the household, and I'd get it from that person.

But not this time around. The first day I honestly thought that it was just my sinus, something I get on and off, usually when there's a drastic change in the weather [from sunny to rainy in a matter of minutes, or staying in with the air conditioning on and go out under the hot sun the next very second]. But then the next day the runny nose didn't go away, plus I got myself a bonus - a damn annoying sore throat. That's pretty much the deal breaker for me; I knew I'll be attaching myself to a box of tissue for the next few days.

... Did I just type out two lengthy paragraphs on flu? blergh.

OK so let's focus on something more cheery. Like the Bukit Merah trip I took! woohoo! Honestly, the 'open mind, open heart' mantra I held on to like my life depended on it [yes I'm exaggerating] worked like a charm. It was actually a very decent trip.

We arrived on Christmas day at around 3pm, and had one of the lousiest laksa ever, at a supposed kopitiam near the apartment where we were staying. I say supposed coz it looked more like food court than a kopitiam. Waited for the rest of my family to arrive, settled down for a bit, and off we go to visit my auntie and her family at a small town nearby, in Bagan Serai.

The next day was tiring! Went to the Orang Utan Island in the morning, and that was actually... fun. Especially since that was the first time ever I saw orang utans! Went to the Ecopark next, and I had fun there as well, surprisingly. Of course, there's nothing to shout about really... it's just a zoo with many trails to follow, and an animal show every 30 minutes [which was entertaining!]. And I had a good walk as well. Walking back to the main area, which was about 15 minutes from the Ecopark, was an even better exercise as I was carrying Fadlan in my arms. Penat k? Whoever invented the baby stroller is a genius. But Lalan [as we sometimes call him] behaved really really well, so it was very very pleasant :)

We were really tired by the time we finished our lunch, so we decided to have a little fish spa experience instead. It was the first time for my sisters and my Sayang, and although it was the second time for me, IT STILL TICKLED LIKE HELL. My Babe liked it, so yeay! We can go to the one in Midvalley together woohoo!

And that night, we decided to go crazy and head to Penang island for dinner. We didn't know any good spot in the area, so we just thought since Abang Wan is familiar with Penang, we might as well try our luck. The traveling took a little longer than we expected, but the food at Padang Kota was pretty decent. Well, not for Abang Zul and Kak Syisya I guess. Other than that, it was a very nice, impromptu dinner outing.

So yeah. I had fun at Bukit Merah. But in all honesty, I wouldn't really recommend to people to go there. You really ought to have an open mind and an open heart in order to enjoy the place. Yes, I had fun at the island and the park, but I don't think they offer much more that what you can get at any zoos. The apartment itself was quite a disappointment. And the crowd.... well, I'm just not gonna go there.

But to enjoy/endure all that with the person you love most, and to share it with your family is priceless.

Pictures will be up soon. :D

Anyways, we came back yesterday, and reached home around 2.30pm. My sinus has graduated to full blown flu by this time, and my Babe and I almost decided to not go to Faezah's [Lyana's sister] wedding! But I don't want to risk being sorry for not attending the reception, or the wrath of Lyana, so we went anyways.

It was one of the most relaxed wedding I have ever been too. It was held in such a small scale, but lovely nevertheless. Faezah was radiant, and Lyana was equally gorgeous! Nawar, the groom, didn't look too bad himself. sigh. Too bad I forgot to bring my camera!

ugh my head's feeling a little heavy. I hope I'm not getting a fever.

i wish i can sleep and type at the same time.

There's a huge zit a little on the left side of my forehead. Besides from being super huge, it is also super annoying and painful.

I'm currently taking a break from packing up things and clothes to bring to my family's Bukit Merah trip tomorrow. Well... not really a break la, more of a halt as I am effing sleepy and I'd rather continue in the morning with a much clearer mind.

I'm kinda excited about the trip, despite remembering that a few people I know told me that the place sucked. I googled the place, and found out that they mostly have nature-related activities. Now, to be honest, that's not really my thing. But who knows... It might be fun walking at the Ecopark.

Open mind, open heart. I'll probably have the time of my life.

I think my bed is calling out to me.

Merry Christmas, everyone :)

i wonder how long this post is going to be?

haha I just realized that I was supposed to list three things that I love and nominate other bloggers I deemed worthy of the Kreativ Blogger award. My bad!

My list is as below:

a) I love the people I have around me; my great family, my best girls, my good friends, and my Baby Boo, definitely :)
b) I love cats (our Zoey Schmoey especially!)! I adore anything cat-related! Except for cat poo.
c) I love good food. Sometimes too much. heh :D

And for the award, I shall nominate:

a) Azzura - http://wickedrossored.blogspot.com/
b) Moqh - http://blog.mukhrizlatif.com/
c) Ili fm - uhh, what's your blog address?
d) Suffianr - And what's yours?

I'd name Najeeb, Kusa, Ikin and Saddiq as well, but they have all already been nominated at some point for the same award, so I don't want to be redundant.

Okay so let's move on.

You may realize from the date of my blog and the time, that I am blogging from the office right now, which is somewhat of a rarity. If you didn't, then you should already know since I just typed it out haha. The reason for this such rare, privileged occasion is...

THERE IS NO IFN NEWSLETTER FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS! woohoo~

There's no real reason to celebrate here, coz it's not like I won't have anything to do until January comes. But hell, I won't have to go back home late for the next two weeks, so I'm psyched about that. There's still reports to be written, and possibly people to interview, but I'd like to know how it feels to have a lil bit of a work-less Friday.

I hope my bosses won't kill me, if ever they found out :D

Especially since I'm kinda promoted, effective from January onwards :)

haha yup. No more Editorial Executive, hello Senior Writer! It's not really a promotion, coz we didn't have that position in IFN before (although there is a Senior Writer in IFA, another one of REDmoney's publication). Its more like a new position for me, with more work. And a bit more money.

Uhh. I think I just described a promotion. But anyways.

Azzura and I decided to meet up today for lunch to kind of celebrate my new appointment. And in a way to make it up to her for not being able to join the gurls yesterday, when they went shopping for bridesmaids' material for Noran's wedding. Azzura asked Noran, Animz and Along to come as well, but they're busy so nevermind. We'll have fun anyways.

Had a somewhat good lunch at Chakri Palace in KLCC; I say somewhat coz I had better Phad Thai in The Gardens. Bitched for a bit, walked and oogle over shoes and handbags and makeups for a while (while bitching duh), then settled at Starbucks for a bit for coffee (juice for Zura; no coffee! gila unlikely for her ok?!) and cake. And yes more bitching.

Of course, its great to hang out and just lepak with her, even for a couple of hours. Would love to lepak with her longer, but I still needed to drag my lazy bum to the office.

And oh, my office had the Xmas dinner on Tuesday, and my secret santa (Shashi, my copy editor. Gila terer hide it from me!) gave me A Thousand Splendid Suns! yeaayyyy~! I was the santa for Raphael, my editor, and I got him Philips' earphones. He told me he love them. Hopefully he told me the truth :P

And the dinner was great. It was held at The C Club in Pavilion, a jewelry boutique -cum-fine dining restaurant, owned by The Carat Club. The ambience was nice... We had the terrace all to ourselves! The food... well, it depends. Personally I find that there's nothing special about the mushroom soup, but the fish for main course was amazing. Took only a bite of the brownie ala mode, coz by then I was already too full.

And some of you may know how much I like watching people act silly... And I had a ball of a time that night! haha I dunno why, watching drunk people making little sense amuses me.

Okay I'm done. Only 45 minutes to go before I head to Kelana Jaya. Will be going out for a date with my Sayang later... We're having Bubba Gumps. :)

i want cupcakes.

So much to do, so little time.

Seriously, if it was up to me [like, really up to me and I don't have to consider how others feel but I know I have to coz I respect my dad and I'm nice that way sometimes], I'd forgo the reception and have a nice, intimate akad nikah and lunch/dinner instead. None of this worrying about things that may screw up, or about arguments that will probably happen.

None of this worrying about not having enough money to pay off things.

Let's hope that after the wedding, I'll be able to recall my wedding preparations and remember the good parts of it instead of the negative ones. Amin.

Less than three weeks away till the big day. I think Time finally discovered wings and decides to fly and leave me behind. But you know, I can't wait for the things to come after three weeks. Of course, it means that I don't have to deal with this stress anymore, but it also means that I get to be Mrs. Ezham Hafiez.

[I am right now trying to stop to say something silly to refute the romantic-ness of the above line. Kusa does that all the time; say something sweet and then ruin it by saying something like 'fuh ayat power'. I will NOT be like him! I will prove to him that we can be corny if we want to! Admittedly, this is hard. sigh.]

By the way, I've given up on trying to lose weight for my wedding haha. There's just so much stress going on, that I need my sugar and fatty food! :P

Work-wise, I am finally confirmed at my new workplace yeay! My two bosses, AM and AT [they're both Andrews so we sometimes refer to them by their initials] literally sang me praises in the confirmation letters. Not to brag, but I did improve a lot, and I'm hoping to improve a lot more so I can talk to them about more pay sometime soon. haha. And I love love love writing. Although admittedly, I find it hard to fall in love with the subject matter. [Islamic finance? Me? Srsly?]

I'm prompted to do the little meme that Ikin did on her blog. But alas, time my not permit me. Future in-laws are meeting my dad tonight.

Wish us luck!

thank yous

To Noran, Azzura, Animz and Along:
I know I've mentioned this in my previous post, but thank you so very much for a wonderful pre-birthday lunch. Thanks for being there for me... and the presents too! You guys are my rock!
And I am really really grateful that you guys are willing to sacrifice some time in helping me out with my wedding. Anim, I know my preparation freaks you out a little bit, but you know that I - well, we actually - are more than happy to help you with yours.

To my sisters and Baba [although you guys won't be reading this probably]:
I'm not much of a Victoria's Station fan, but that you for a great dinner! The cake filled me up so bad, but who cares?! haha. Thanks Kak Hani for those lovely shoes. The thought that in 5 months I will no longer be staying at our home, actually makes me sad... though I know that you guys are rejoicing that I won't be asking for money anymore! And the length you guys would go for July... well that goes without saying...

To Lyana, Michael, Johan, Ko Ko and Chan:
hahahaha honestly, I saw the surprise coming from MILES away! I wasn't sure of course, so it wasn't a complete failure. I didn't know that caramel cheesecake tastes so good! And thanks for the perfume Lyana... the reason why it reminds me of you is not only because you bought it for me, but because the smell is so you!

To Ikin, Adik, Nana, Arnie, Alia:
Your birthday wishes means so much to me, even though you guys couldn't be there with me. I do wish that you guys were though... *sad face* hehe.

Last, but of course, never ever the least... My Sayang:
Dinner at PJ Hilton was great, the books are a great addition to my little library. I don't know how to say this without being all mushed yup, but here goes: I love you lah. You're so annoying it's endearing, and I don't know anyone else who can love another person by being jahat. Not jahat in its truest sense of course, but... oh well you know what I mean.

--------

haih. I heard a saying once, that true friends not are not the ones who stay with you during your tough times, but those who would also share your good times with you. I can't be sure where I read it, or who wrote it... and I definitely can't that the saying is valid haha. But think about it: If your friends doesn't even share your happiness, what's the guarantee that they would stick with you when you're down and under?

Tetanus D

It was early Friday morning. She stepped out of her living room, and went outside to hang some laundry. It was humid. Hot. Sweat trickled down her back. She squinted her eyes, wishing that the day was a little cooling. Mindlessly she took one piece of t-shirt after another, and then she was done. She sighed, relieved that her chore is almost done. She bend to pick up the empty basket, when she suddenly felt a slight pain on her right foot. Her mind immediately thought of the worse, and as she examined her bleeding foot, and then her slippers, her fear was confirmed.

"Stupid fucking rusty nail poked into my kaki! aaaagh!"

How the damn nail got there, I don't know. The pain wasn't bad... It's not like the whole thing went into my foot. Just a tiny pinch. But it sucked big time when because of a tiny little thing like that, I had to go get a tetanus shot.

Damn. My left arm still hurts till now :(

The doctor was nice though. He's been there at my neighborhood forever, but that was the first time I ever went there. The usual clinic I go to was closed... The usual clinic being Malay-owned and the day being Friday. Well, it was 12.30 pm when I finally went to get my shot.

He told me that the shot would last me for two years. So now, for the next 24 months, I can get bitten and scratched by animals, and get cut by more nails and broken glasses, and not worry about getting an infection. heh. Bring it on.

... Well. Not really. :D

oohh. My babe gave me the sweetest surprise when I got here to his house today. Well the thing wasn't even for me, but how would you feel when your boyfriend of 6 years, who is known for NOT being romantic, decided to one day create a picture collage of the two of you together, and put it up as his wallpaper on his PC? Well I know that it's similar to the birthday present he made for me earlier this year, but the magic is not lost. I'm not sure when he did it, but damn it's a nice feeling. To know that someone loves you so much, that they don't mind looking at the same old face everyday.

My poor, sick but lovely Baby who is down with fever, flue and cough didn't even tell me!

And there's also a picture of me and Ikin tersesat there somehow haha.

w00t.

Had my last two papers of finals two days ago. And how did I celebrate?

Entourage marathon.

Just finished episode 14 of the third season, and now waiting for my Sayang to get off work so we could watch the rest of the season [and season 4!] together.

My Baby is now doing his refresher training at the newly-opened Subway outlet in Selangor Dredging for the next two weeks. And this is sorta like a peek preview of things to come for me; I should start getting used to the fact that I won't be seeing him as much as I do now when the shop in Kelana Jaya opens. It sucks, but we've made it through worse times.

Anyone knows how much it costs to take the TOEFL exam nowadays?

big old baby

My Baby is 28! yeay! Happy happy belated birthday wahai si Bengot!

He wasn't in an especially celebratory mood yesterday. The year so far, agreeably, has not been especially good to him and to us [no, we as a couple are not having any problems]. It was understandable that he did not want to celebrate, but it was his birthday and I really wanted to do something for him.

So I made him meat pie. Made possible, of course, with his help and Alia. It came out a lot better than I expected as there were a little bit of a mishap with the dough. But all went well. Ikin even came with a surprise birthday cake for my Sayang. We were full to the very limit, but hey, there is always room for dessert! Najeeb came all the way from Shah Alam too, and I guess that definitely brightened up my Bengot's spirit for the night.

And yet again, I only remembered to take pictures of my pie only after everyone was done eating. Oh well. It's really yummy, that's all that matter :P

Last night, me and my Sayang agree, was fun. Good food, good company, great time. What more could anyone want?

the day after

Anniversary dinner went pretty well.

Some of you may have known, I cooked for our day yesterday. It never dawned upon me that I am capable of making a mean apple crumble dessert that is so yum i can't stop eating it. haha. And I made grilled lamb shoulders with kidney beans salad for the entree. Would have made broccoli and cheese soup for the starters as well, but we had to go to my Sayang's cousin's place afterwards so we were a little bit pressed for time.

We'll save the soup for later k babe?

Came back from college like 2 hours ago... I'm still tired. Hmm. Was supposed to have class but I couldn't find Dr. Steven anywhere. And the class was empty too. I assumed that it was canceled, but the lady at the counter doesn't seem to know where he is. So what did I do? Hang out with Jack and Hadi for brunch. Thank goodness my Baby decided to have a few games of bowling at the mall, so at least we could go home together.

While there, I found out that a few changes has been made, but none that would effect my studies, I hope. I only have 2 more semesters to go, so I CAN'T FUCK UP or BE FUCKED. I just couldn't afford it. blergh. And spending 5 days a week in college doesn't sound very appealing now, does it? The closer it is to the end of my degree programme, the more I can't wait for this to be over!

I need to nap. Oh okay... I want to nap. Am going out later to Low Yat, and maybe dinner at Hartamas. For now, it's recharge time.

Toodles everyone. Ciao~

six

It is officially the 6th Annual Day of the Bengots.

Happiness is him.

Happy Anniversary, Baby. I love you, I adore you, I have a need for you. And in turn you annoy me, you tickle me till I squeal, and you make me so geram that I want to do nothing more than gigit you to death.

And yet I can't get enough of you. And I hope you feel the same.

Aiyoh. I'm hopeless.

I posted the lyrics to this song before, but here it is again, because this is my blog, and today is my day with my Sayang.

Santana feat. Michelle Branch and The Wreckers
I'm Feeling You

:
Sometimes I imagine the world without you
But most time I'm just so happy that I ever find you
It's a complicated web
That you weave inside my head
So much pleasure with such pain
How we always always stay the same

chorus
I'm feeling the way you cross my mind
And you save me in the nick of time
I'm riding the highs, I'm digging the lows
Coz at least I feel alive
I've never faced so many emotional days
But my life is good
I'm feeling you

You go and then I can finally breath in
Coz baby I know in the end you're never leaving
Well we rarely ever sane
I drive you crazy and you do the same
But your fire fills my soul
And it warms me up like no one knows

repeat chorus

Oh I'm feeling the way that you cross my mind
And the way that you save me in the nick of time
Oh I'm feeling the way when you walk on by
I feel light, I feel love
I feel butterflies
I feel butterflies
:

wubuwubu~

and the kat waits...

It's been three weeks.

It didn't exactly float and pass me by; nor was it the hardest thing I had to do. But he is on his way home.

I don't know why, but I'm really really anxious.

20 minutes, he said.

:)

It's official; I miss my baby

Zuhri, if you happen to stumble upon my blog, Lyana told me about your father. I'm sorry to hear about it, and I know for a fact that you can get through this.

Al-Fatihah.

Here's a hypothetical question: What would you do if a man with whom you are completely in love with tells you that the reason he can't be in a relationship with you is because he doesn't like the way your mind works?

I had a dream last night, where the above-mentioned situation occured. I will not into details of the dream, but what happened was, the girl tried to prove to the guy that she can be what he wants her to be.

I woke up as soon as the dream ended, and I pictured myself being the girl. I immediately thought: Well if you don't like the way that my mind works, you're not worthy of my time then.

Oh well. People do crazy things for love.

Today is the 10th day. 9 more days to go till I get to see my Sayang again. waaa hurry up and let it be 20th May already. I miss you :(

And uhm Zoe pooped beside the TV cabinet when I left her last Wednesday. I don't know what to do about her. Come back and teach her a lesson ok? haha.

Toodles everyone. Not that there's a lot of people reading this blog anyways. But toodles, nonetheless.

Ciao~

When you're dreaming with a broken heart, The waking up is the hardest part

It feels so GOOD to be done with Biology!

Had the final two papers of my exam yesterday, Statistics and Bio back to back. Statistics was okay; had a little crash study group session with Hadi and Dahlia. Me and Hadi decided to just forget about studying Bio since we're not going to remember anything anyways, but it turned out that most of the stuff I read through came out, and so I was kind of hitting myself a little for not reading more of the notes.

But no... no regrets. I'm just happy to be able to answer at least some of the questions. And now, three weeks of cat-sitting!

Zoe decided to be the princess that she is and poop all over the place when she was left alone yesterday. Auntie and Alia came back from Jakarta to the most horrible of smell when they opened up the door, and they saw poop everywhere. Thank goodness the help they hired to come once a week came this morning... or else we would have to clean it up ourselves. blergh. I was pissed at her for a while, but something must have scared the shit out of her [haha] or maybe she panicked. Instead of being all angry, I ended up feeding her.

It's the third day of my "Kusa-less Days and Nights" haha, discounting of course the day he left. I was such a whine when he went away for two weeks to the States last year, so this time I keep on telling myself not to sweat the little things. So what if he doesn't reply my sms on regular basis? Like he ever does! And he calls me at least once a day, so all is good. We don't talk long, only up to 5 minutes max each time. The roaming charges are crazy high! I end up talking so very fast, not allowing a moment of silence to ever get in the way. haha. I want my Baby to call me everyday, yes... but I don't want to kill him with all the bills!

Goodness. How did I go through 2 years of long-distance again?

But it sucks to be on his bed without him to hug... though I really don't mind the extra space. hehe :D

I've been listening to John Mayer over and over again. There's something about his voice that I find captivating. There's this particular song, I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You) that I swear can pass as a make out song, but the lyrics say otherwise. But the music, his voice... sigh. The combination has the power of making the least imaginative of people sway, I believe.

Ooo. Just had a J.Co donut. I ate it while shaking my head, not believing the amount of calories I'm putting inside my mouth, but it's so good I can't put it down. Well. Off I go then. Ciao~

all i really want

I've been crazy busy these couple of weeks. Assignments, quizzes, presentations... But all is fine now.

It's funny how I always say that I have loads of things to do towards the end of a semester, and yet I rarely find myself staying up till the wee hours in the morning finishing up something, and I actually have some free time to, say, listen to my brand new mp3 player, courtesy of Ikin. She bought me this during her trip to Tokyo a couple of months back, and dang it, I LOVE IT. This is my golden, Gorgeous beat. I wubb u, Ikin!

And of course, to listen to a cool gadget like that, one needs a cool pair of headphones to go with it. And naturally, the color has to match. Clicky to see my clips, all thanks to Bad!

Don't get me wrong, college is still kinda hectic. I probably would be doing all those sleepless nights stuff if not for the extension my Biology lecturer gave us for our final assignment. And there's also the final quiz for Sales Management this Thursday, Human Resource Management final exam on the next Monday, and Statistics and Biology finals on the following Thursday. And those two papers are back-to-back. I tell ya, that sucks BIG TIME.

And after that? Two weeks of Kusa-less days and nights.

My Sayang will be leaving for Brisbane on the first of May [which falls on my exam week. blergh~] for his Subway training. Yup, my Baby is opening up a Subway franchise. Only after he comes back from his training will he be able to find a location, so watch this space!

What will I be up to? Cat-sitting [if it doesn't scare me hehe] and maybe an outing or ten with Lyana. And I have been neglecting my room these couple of weeks, so yeah... definitely need to do something about that.

Well. This is it, for now. Suddenly I saw the light... to begin doing my Bio assignment. It's not that hard, I suppose. But writing 3,000 words on genetically-manufactured crops is hardly my idea of fun.

Till later, all. Ciao~